Posted in What's on my mind?

Faced with change?

In my blog post CHANGING LANES almost two years ago; I shared my thoughts on changing careers.

It started with a card I had received from a friend:

We can all FLY as HIGH as the DREAMS we dare to live unless we are a chicken.’ Edward Monkton

Hmmm, DEEP THOUGHT was the tag line on top of the card, with a child like hand drawn picture of a chicken with flightless wings, and a voice bubble coming out of the chicken’s mouth saying ‘shit!’

Here I am again as I sit at the cross roads of change and thinking of the changes I would like to make in my ‘life wheel’ of balance.

Still to this day, change brings about excitement, and sizzling tingles when I start exploring my dreams and consider the task of setting goals.  I am met with all sorts of thoughts and feelings as I go through this process.  My first feeling is generally happiness; followed by feelings of impatience, and restlessness for change to all happen right this moment and be sorted.  I am always keen to get going, as I want it all to happen instantly.

Yet; then I tend go through a phase of FEAR……. The ‘what if’ thinking that comes with FEAR.  ‘What if it doesn’t work’, ‘what if it’s the wrong choice or decision’, ‘what if I don’t succeed’; ‘what if, what if, what if’…

These thoughts are all blocks, and I have no evidence at this moment of the outcomes of ‘what if’s’.  I am trying to predict the future and I can only take steps to change, and the outcome of my choices will be as it is meant to be.

I personally don’t like FEAR, as fear is a feeling to run away.  I have run away many times to escape and it doesn’t work when I still have challenges to overcome, and new dreams to make happen.  Yes; fear in moments of danger is a warning signal and a protective mechanism when I am truly in danger of being hurt; yet my fearful thinking can get in the way when it is a positive change I want to make.  I then need to challenge my thinking.  There is a saying FEAR is FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL.  In my experience it is usually my thoughts that are blocking me, and I remain stuck in situations I am not happy with.  There comes a point where I need to make a decision and just go with it.  COURAGE to change and the outcome will follow as it is meant to be.  Unless I begin with a step to change my dream into reality I will never know.

Sometimes intuition or that gut instinct feeling is more of a reality test, and a signal that contradicts my false thinking. Is it sizzling excitement I ask myself? “Yes!” then go for it?

Baby steps, or giant leaps today? I will face my fears, and begin to change what I can.