Compulsive shopping is a problem that has many of the same affects as alcohol or drug addiction. It’s normal to indulge in shopping now and then. The problem is when a person finds they are shopping excessively for no apparent reason, and it begins to erode their quality of life, rather than enhance it. Western society advocates the promotion of shopping, and for some people shopping is not seen as problem. Yet for others, people judge the ‘shopaholic’ as being financially irresponsible and their compulsive shopping is seen as a joke.
There is nothing wrong to go ‘fun’ shopping for a treat or for a gift. At Christmas time there is an excessive amount of shopping to celebrate the season of gift giving. Most people keep their spending under control in line with their budget. Yet it can be a serious problem for others. Too much is bought, and the consequence is that much of what is bought is not needed, and for some there is an increase in debt which becomes the problem of how to pay it back.
There is an excitement to shop around, and be caught up in the sensations of finding what you want. This is why shopping is considered a stimulating behaviour. It affects the dopamine reward system in the brain. Our internal reward system is altered, as there is a distortion in the electrical chemical balances in the brain, which affects the neurotransmitter and receptor cycles. So like a stimulant drug more is needed to get the same high.
When compulsive shopping becomes a necessity or a ‘hobby’ it can become the equivalent of a ‘drug’ fix. To go shopping precious time and money is needed. The compulsive shopper starts to waste time on unneeded items that it starts to affect other areas of life: work, family, social, personal, hobbies, and even personal care. A lot of credit card and unsecured debt is a result of ‘compulsive shopping’.
What initially follows, as the high of acquiring items is short lived; is often regret and disappointment follows. A cycle of shame and guilt can set in. Although there is an understanding of how shopping is affecting their lifestyle in terms of money and relationships; the problem continues. Credit card debt may get out of control, creditors may start phoning as the debt mounts as payments are not met, relationships suffer as there is a problem with money, personal care standards deteriorate, anxiety increases as the need to ‘work for money treadmill’ goes faster. There is an increased pressure mentally and emotionally. The affect that may follow is physical ‘dis-ease’. Hiding, and lying about purchases are some typical behaviours. Shopping bags are hidden away at the back of a cupboard, labels still on clothing hanging up, as items are unworn. Multiple credit cards and unsecured loans…the cycle continues………
What’s needed?
STOP irrational behaviours that hurt and change direction. Try something different and new! Shopping won’t fix a depressed mood, a void in life, or even to avoid loneliness.
How is the BIG question?
The aim of recovery from shopping addiction is to get back to a more balanced level; as shopping like eating can’t be avoided.
Tips:
- Try and identify the cause by working with a counsellor, therapist or psychologist;
- The patterns of shopping need to be reviewed. What was happening before the shopping binge? What was the trigger? What were some of the thoughts? Work? Family or partner struggles? What were the feelings? Depressed? Will I appear more successful or more handsome or beautiful if I have that item of clothing? Yet, back in the wardrobe there are already five colours of the same styled tee shirts. Going to the shop for one CD, and coming out with 10 because there were bargains to be had? Multiple gadgets with the same functionality? A continuous impulse to buy now, and pay later. Not shopping around for the best price, paying double, no savings?
- Debt management plan to suit your needs-perhaps a need to see a debt counsellor to consolidate credit cards and unsecured loans debt, review bills and fees, re-negotiate interest rates, one monthly payment, find a solution that works for you;
- Avoid temptation by leaving credit cards at home or even cutting up cards;
- Have a shopping list when going to the shops as you abstain from continuous impulse buying;
- Set a personal limit for spending, and anything over that limit is excessive or impulsive;
- Budget for big items of expenditure over a certain personal limit you have;
- Don’t go shopping when feeling depressed, distract and do something else. Phone friends and meet up, exercise, walk the dog, engage in a hobby, take a shower, read a book; anything to avoid the need to impulsively shop and spend money;
- Join a support group like Debtor’s Anonymous to help with compulsive shopping and spending with unsecured debt (loans and credit cards) one day at a time;
- Share with family and supportive trusted friends when you are struggling with the impulse to go shopping;
- Stop wishful thinking that a magic wand is going to take away the debt, ask for help, set goals and make a plan. Only taking action will alleviate the debt from compulsive shopping;
- Ask is this a need or a want? Wait a week to see is the same desire there?
Like withdrawal from stimulating physical substances, there are affects mentally, emotionally and physically. As changes are made in behaviours for healthier choices moderation starts to happen and there may be positive benefits as the shame, guilt and worry lessens. Life begins to appear brighter, and balance starts to happen in more areas of life. Relationships are improved, as there is less pressure, worry, blaming and arguing. Finances become more manageable. Hobbies are rediscovered, and health possibly improves as the ‘dis-ease’ is lessened. Work becomes fun as opposed to chore on the ‘need to work for more money to pay debt treadmill’. Recovery happens and the balancing scales start to even out between the extremes.
A healthier advert for life? Time to take stock?