Author: Suitcase Cally

Posted in Fun, Humanity, Relationships, What's on my mind?

Swipe Right for Love: Tales of a Hopeful Romantic 

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

“Our greatest dreams are never out of reach, only out of belief.” – Wayne. W. Dyer

After a long break from dating on my quest for love and the world of singles groups and dating apps, I was encouraged recently by friends to give online dating another chance.

Love is potentially just a swipe away and the only thing more elusive than a unicorn is a decent human being. I’ve got plenty of friends who have had success with online dating (some married now). So I’m open to this social experiment to step out my comfort zone, because it’s not happening when I take myself out on ‘real life selfie dates’!

I still have lots to learn as a Gen X who values some old school beliefs on how I’ve met past love relationships and casual friendships in real life. Yet the ‘new’ world still leans to meeting potential life partners in a cloud matching world.

As a single woman navigating this matrix of pixels, filters and profiles I often find myself in an intriguing paradox. I swipe left with the precision of a surgeon and right with the enthusiasm of a kid playing with its favourite toy. Yet, somehow, the men I swipe right on seem to vanish into the ether like my motivation to exercise after a Netflix binge of ‘Virgin River’.

Imagine this: I’m cosied up on my sofa wearing my koala bear Oodie, the cat is on my lap (please don’t judge) and I have a determined spirit. I’m ready to conquer the dating app jungle. I swipe left on the dodgy topless guy holding a fish, and right on Mr. Intrigue or Mr. Melting Eyes with a smile to match. You know the type that your heart gets a sense that this looks like a decent guy? A match made in heaven, or so I thought. Photos and effort in a bio can tell a lot about a person in my opinion. Our initial instinct tells us ‘Yes, yes, yes!’

Dating apps in 2026

But then, poof! Like a magician’s trick gone wrong, he disappears. I’m left staring at my phone, wondering if I accidentally swiped left on his personality too. Did he get abducted by aliens, or is he ghosting me faster than my last date abandoned his own commitment issues? Being ghosted can be a head fuck and I’ve learnt it’s got nothing to do with me in this online swiping culture. Somedays I think it would be helpful to have an operational manual!

Now, I could wallow in despair, but instead I choose to believe something wonderful is going to happen.

Maybe Mr. Disappearing Act just needs a little more time to find his way back from his man cave. Maybe he’s trapped in a never-ending cycle of “Can you hear me now?” like being in a Teams Meeting with connectivity issues when I’m working from home.

Or perhaps he’s out there, frantically swiping right on every cute cat photo he sees (again please no judgement), hoping to find a way back to me.

If my cat had a dating profile

In the meantime, I embrace the wait like when you’re stuck in traffic on the M25 and it feels like you’re going nowhere. Whilst waiting for my matches to re-emerge from the Bermuda Triangle of messages and dating apps, I focus on my life – work, friends and hobbies. This includes sending funny Instagram reels to my besties, fantasising about a career change and manifesting that I’m a Tantra Love Coach on my 2026 goals vision board. I’ve become a master chef in the kitchen of my imagination, whipping up tantric rituals to embrace my divine feminine Queen energy to attract my masculine King. (Are you with me yet?)

In my darker moments, I find comfort in the thought that maybe I’m meant for something greater. Perhaps I’m destined to be the star of my own romcom, where the plot revolves around a free spirited woman who finds love in the most unexpected ‘normal’ places. Like at Waitrose or Sainsburys, a friend’s braai (bbq), or at the local village park – where people are more concerned about their four legged fur babies and picking up dog poo than their dating profiles. Or maybe I need to start the trending ‘pineapple in a trolley on Thursday night for singles in supermarkets’ like in Spain? That got your attention yet?

Or the promise from an Instagram psychic reading telling me the tarot cards are showing that my soul mate is already in my life and I already l know him? Hmmmm…I wonder? My mind starts thinking is he already in my WhatsApp contacts, is he in my circle of friends, a single friend of my married mates, an Instagram follower or people I just know? The plot thickens! Or is it some joke from another Ai robot fake account?

Yet despite my taking the piss, in all seriousness let’s not forget the power of belief! I firmly believe that one day, I’ll maybe swipe right on a guy who won’t disappear into the ether, and will actually follow through and meet me. Not just send me countless messages of how pretty I am!

Come on guys – please be vulnerable and show us yourselves! I’m more interested to know more about you, not just physical looks. Yes, chemistry is important! But so is friendship and depth to have a meaningful connection. At some point meeting in real life is where energy and true chemistry and communication is developed. We miss that opportunity if we are just relying on screen to screen interactions.

Or maybe it will be our paths actually cross in real life through an event we both attend, or possibly via sport, a gig, theatre, museum or at a local cafe (romcom fantasies)?

He’ll be the one who sends me a funny message or meme, asks me out, makes me laugh, and most importantly, doesn’t pull a disappearing act after our first deep and meaningful chat. 

So here I am, a hopeful romantic amidst a sea of Ai matching generated digital filters, ready to embrace the absurdity of it all. Maybe I’ll meet my Mr. Right or at least gather enough funny stories to keep my family and friends entertained at braais and dinner parties. Respecting their anonymity of course.

Either way, I’m swiping right on hope, and who knows? The next ‘ping’ or message on my phone might just be the love story I never saw coming, or another episode of ‘Virgin River’?

With love, Suitcase Cally

Posted in Body, Health, Humanity, Mind, Recovery, What's on my mind?

Navigating GERD and Barrett’s Oesophagus one day at a time

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Thank you NHS

This GERD/Acid Reflux Awareness Week (24-30 November) hits differently when you’ve spent weeks waiting for more answers. I’m sharing my story because for so long I ignored symptoms thinking they would just pass. DENIAL = Don’t even know I’m lying to myself.

The worry, the whatifs, the sleepless nights are a kind of stress people don’t always see.

After seeing my Upper GI surgeon and consultant today, I thought I’d like to raise more awareness of the silent issues and potential cancer risks that can occur if ongoing symptoms are ignored.

Rewind back to July 2012 where it began. I was in an inpatient eating disorder clinic in Cape Town. Under the care of the medical team, the clinic and my GP; I was referred to a specialist gastroenterologist surgeon.   I was evaluated and underwent various tests and had a gastroscopy under general anaesthetic as I’d been experiencing chronic heart burn (acid reflux).

This can be caused by many things not just one issue. My eating disorder history was part of many reasons. Today there is tons of information on gut health, inflammation, the vagus nerve, anxiety, depression and the gut/brain connection. Foods with toxins, chemicals added and other pollutants we are exposed to daily. The list is endless. Combine that with life stress events, and it’s a cocktail of dis-ease waiting silently. Unless we become aware, educate ourselves, self manage and look after our body (our home) to the best of our knowledge.

It was a horrible experience to go through. The prognosis was to avoid surgery and manage the symptoms conservatively after being diagnosed with Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD).  In basic terms I have a leaky lower oesophageal sphincter. Ideally this little guy should stay closed when I’m not eating. Mine doesn’t, so stomach acid flows up into the oesophagus. This is that heart burn feeling of acid reflux.

I was told at the time there was a risk of cancer due to gut inflammation and to revisit surgical options if the short term meds prescribed were not working. I cracked on, and continued my eating disorder treatment programme.

After leaving the clinic I ignored it all,  put it behind me due to the delayed grief of my father’s passing, stress of my divorce,  starting over and I just swept it all under the carpet.  I continued with my eating disorder recovery, life and this included moving countries to England two years later. 

Fast forward to 2025.  Being in denial of symptoms caught up with me the past year, losing my voice for a week, not being able to sing at a live concert in 2024, my voice changing and experiencing various other throat and body symptoms that worsened.  

I had a great summer holiday with my best friend and her family from Cape Town in the south of France in July. Thinking all is okay, life took a turn off the track.

It was due to an incident of coughing up blood on a bank holiday weekend in August after returning from France, that my body said “wake up”! This got my attention very quickly. I was pissed off as I had made beach plans, and to see friends later that day. Bank holiday weekend ruined.

Immediately I was seen as an emergency, medical history taken, and was triaged via the fast track two week cancer route as it was quicker than going privately. I am ever so grateful to my doctor and local hospital because within a week I was undergoing an emergency upper gastrointestinal (GI) endoscopy. This time I was awake for the procedure under local anaesthetic and had various other blood tests. 

I won’t lie the past three months have been tough emotionally and mentally waiting for the results, and the follow up appointment to see my Upper GI Surgeon and Consultant.  Mindful of holistic practices such as tumeric shots for inflammation, looking for quick fixes, managing food triggers, lifestyle changes and deep meditation didn’t help me much. Worried due to time I’ve had to take off work for tests and days I was unwell, it’s not been the greatest chapter of my career this past year.

Yet, I continued to trust in a higher power and believe that answers will come. This has been a big life moment happening for me, not to me. There was no use being a victim, and I’ve had to trust and practice radical acceptance. The body keeps score and emotional stresses over past years are part of my life journey.

Today I saw my surgeon and he went over all my test results and endoscopy images. We created a new management and lifestyle plan to move forward.  I’m grateful for the clarity and the chance to protect my health. I was armed with questions from my research, which he answered graciously; as I had been diagnosed with Barrett’s Oesophagus a potential precancerous condition as a result of GERD. There’s no magic wand and it all goes away overnight. Small changes, one day at a time.

Living with chronic acid reflux has taught me that its long term effects aren’t always obvious. Conditions like Barrett’s Oesophagus or silent throat cancer can develop quietly, without dramatic symptoms. That’s why the endoscopy, the biopsies of the growths discovered in my oesophagus and gut; plus the waiting felt so heavy, trying to not live in fear after my medical tests.

But today I received the relief I needed. Confirming no throat cancer, no dangerous changes to the cells and lining of my oesophagus. Benign. A big YAY!

I’m grateful for this outcome, the medical team and monitoring which allows silent problems to be caught early. Some people don’t know they even have throat cancer until it’s too late. 

I move forward with more awareness now not fear.  I’ll be placed into a NHS screening programme to monitor for any cell changes. I have huge gratitude for the future screenings, not as something to fear; but as vigilance, and I trust that Barrett’s never progresses into cancer.

Thanks to my mum and a tight close circle of friends who supported me during this journey. Knowing my good friends and neighbour had my back to look after my cat and me (if I needed help) when I went into the hospital was a blessing, as my immediate family don’t live locally.  I love you!  I’m also very grateful to my people leader at work who has been supportive and understanding when I was honest with him. It’s been a challenging period navigating work pressures on top of everything else.

Asking for help has never been my strong trait. This life chapter has shown me that sometimes being a strong independent woman is bullshit. Knowing when to ask and receive help is important, and to let trusted people in and be vulnerable. 

Conducting your own research is important and I’m thankful for the Upper GI medical team at the hospital giving me lots of additional information and support. Charities such as Guts UK, and Heartburn Cancer UK have helped me the past few months to educate myself to have my questions answered today by my surgeon. Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️ .

If you are experiencing similar digestion issues or something feels off, or has changed, and it’s not improving, trust your intuition and see your GP.  Early detection can save lives and be treated. 

Links for support: 

OPA Cancer Charity: https://opa.org.uk/ for Oesophageal and Gastric support

Guts UK : https://gutscharity.org.uk/

Heartburn Cancer UK: Heartburn – Barrett’s – Oesophageal Cancer- Heartburn Cancer UK

If you’re going through a similar situation, waiting for medical test results or finally getting the clarity you need, I hope you get the answers to heal and move forward.  I just want you to know you’re not alone, listen to your body as it deserves to be heard.

With love, Suitcase Cally 🩷 ✨

Posted in Fun, Inspiration, travel

No Travel Buddy? No Problem! 7 Solo Travel Tips for first timers

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

I remember a time I flew by myself from Johannesburg to Perth when I was 19 years old. I overpacked and my parents had to take a suitcase back home. My dad was fuming at the thought he was going to be charged a luggage overweight penalty of R1000 for my magazines, books and music collection! Crying, my mom and dad helped me sort out my packing at the check-in desk. I was mortified, as I somehow thought I needed to take my favourite possessions with me! I slept on a chair in Harare airport in a long layover back then as there were no direct flights due to travel embargoes. I was taken to lunch by an airport porter for passengers in limbo to the in-transit restaurant. A white linen tablecloth covered the table, as I sat with other passengers. We were greeted by a local Zimbabwean with a great beaming smile as our waiter served a chicken type lunch. It was the beginning of many solo trips. I was also fortunate to travel with friends and partners I had over the years, and have had many great experiences globally.

Lately I have been taking solo trips as a singleton again, and so many of my friends over the years say to me “How do you do it? I couldn’t do that!” Well firstly it takes a big dose of courage as there are some places or events or friends I really want to see. Secondly it requires practice! I say that tongue in cheek and embarking on a journey alone can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Solo travel offers a unique opportunity to discover new places, meet interesting people, and ultimately, discover your own true self.

Planning a solo bucket list trip can be daunting if you’re wanting to follow your desires yet there’s some angst. This blog post is to help ease your concerns and provide guidance on making your first solo adventure a success.

  1. Choose the right destination for you: Before setting off on your solo adventure, carefully select a destination that aligns with your interests and comfort level. Opt for places known for their friendly locals, safety record, and ease of navigation. Research destinations that cater to solo travellers, with plenty of social activities, suitable accommodation that you want to stay in, and a vibrant community scene if you’re wanting a blend of fun and chill out time. This gives you some opportunities to chat to people and sometimes you may meet other fellow travellers. My own experience travelling solo is couples and families tend to stick to themselves. It can be lonely at times and this has taught me to become more comfortable being by myself with my own company.
  2. Plan, but leave room for spontaneity: While it’s essential to plan your trip in advance, leave space for spontaneous adventures. Prepare a loose itinerary with must-see attractions, local experiences, and any necessary bookings or reservations. But also embrace the freedom to change your plans, follow the recommendations of fellow travellers or locals you meet, and seize unexpected opportunities that arise. One of the things I like to do is look at local attractions on the AirBnb app. I booked a pastry making course in Antibes and learnt to make croissants with a local French pastry chef. It was held in her home and I had a one to one lesson and great conversation as we learnt about each others lives. It was a chance to practice French and English for both of us!
  3. Pack light and smart: Travelling solo means you’re responsible for handling your luggage all by yourself. Pack light, bringing only the essentials. Aim for a versatile wardrobe based on the climate and culture of your destination. Don’t forget to research the local customs and dress code, ensuring you respect their traditions. This is particularly so when I’ve travelled to Middle Eastern cultures and being mindful. Do your research! Additionally, invest in a reliable anti-theft backpack to keep your belongings secure. Not my greatest tip for me, as I still overpack sometimes as I have been caught out with lost luggage too several times! I’ve got better at this one! Most places have shops so be prepared to buy clothes if needed and leave the heavy stuff behind at home. Not easy during winter though with jackets and jumpers.
  4. Stay connected and safe: Inform your loved ones about your travel plans, share your itinerary, and keep them updated regularly. Stay connected through international SIM cards, Wi-Fi, or local SIM cards upon arrival. Familiarise yourself with local emergency numbers and download apps like city guides, translators, or those specifically designed for solo travellers.
  5. Adopt a positive attitude and stay open-minded: One of the joys of solo travel is immersing yourself in new cultures, connecting with locals, and embracing unexpected encounters. Approach each interaction with an open mind, be respectful of local customs and traditions, and engage in meaningful conversations. Embrace the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, challenge your limits, and to grow personally. Most people are friendly and if they hear you have an accent that’s always a great conversation opener in my experience as people are naturally curious.
  6. Connect with other travellers or not: Although solo travel allows for independence, joining organised tours can present fantastic opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. If you feel like it join group activities, or local tours, or participate in organised adventure trips. Engaging with other travellers not only provides companionship but also enhances your travel experience by gaining valuable insights and creating new friendships. I made a new friend from Japan on one of my trips back to Perth cuddling koalas at Cohunu Koala Park. We still message each other now and then knowing the door is open if we visit each other’s countries in future. Again this is a very personal experience and sometimes I may do a hybrid tour and select parts of it and abort the rest. Go with whatever works for you!
  7. Stay mindful and trust your instincts: Solo travel can be empowering and liberating, but it’s crucial to stay vigilant and trust your instincts. Pay attention to what’s around you if you are not sure where you are. Act confidently, avoid displaying your valuables, and never hesitate to seek assistance from trusted sources like hotels, tourist offices, or police personnel. It’s important to trust your instinct and stay close to people if you feel nervous or unsafe.

Solo travel can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life, offering profound personal growth, self-discovery, and lasting memories. By choosing the right destination, planning ahead, staying connected, and embracing the opportunities that come your way, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying the limitless possibilities of travelling by yourself.

So pack your bags, put on your brave face, and get ready to embark on a journey of a lifetime! Book that bucket list trip!