Swipe Right for Love: Tales of a Hopeful Romantic 

After a long break from dating on my quest for love and the world of singles groups and dating apps, I was encouraged recently by friends to give online dating another chance.

Love is potentially just a swipe away and the only thing more elusive than a unicorn is a decent human being. I’ve got plenty of friends who have had success with online dating (some married now). So I’m open to this social experiment to step out my comfort zone, because it’s not happening when I take myself out on ‘real life selfie dates’!

I still have lots to learn as a Gen X who values some old school beliefs on how I’ve met past love relationships and casual friendships in real life. Yet the ‘new’ world still leans to meeting potential life partners in a cloud matching world.

As a single woman navigating this matrix of pixels, filters and profiles I often find myself in an intriguing paradox. I swipe left with the precision of a surgeon and right with the enthusiasm of a kid playing with its favourite toy. Yet, somehow, the men I swipe right on seem to vanish into the ether like my motivation to exercise after a Netflix binge of ‘Virgin River’.

Imagine this: I’m cosied up on my sofa wearing my koala bear Oodie, the cat is on my lap (please don’t judge) and I have a determined spirit. I’m ready to conquer the dating app jungle. I swipe left on the dodgy topless guy holding a fish, and right on Mr. Intrigue or Mr. Melting Eyes with a smile to match. You know the type that your heart gets a sense that this looks like a decent guy? A match made in heaven, or so I thought. Photos and effort in a bio can tell a lot about a person in my opinion. Our initial instinct tells us ‘Yes, yes, yes!’

But then, poof! Like a magician’s trick gone wrong, he disappears. I’m left staring at my phone, wondering if I accidentally swiped left on his personality too. Did he get abducted by aliens, or is he ghosting me faster than my last date abandoned his own commitment issues? Being ghosted can be a head fuck and I’ve learnt it’s got nothing to do with me in this online swiping culture. Somedays I think it would be helpful to have an operational manual!

Now, I could wallow in despair, but instead I choose to believe something wonderful is going to happen.

Maybe Mr. Disappearing Act just needs a little more time to find his way back from his man cave. Maybe he’s trapped in a never-ending cycle of “Can you hear me now?” like being in a Teams Meeting with connectivity issues when I’m working from home.

Or perhaps he’s out there, frantically swiping right on every cute cat photo he sees (again please no judgement), hoping to find a way back to me.

In the meantime, I embrace the wait like when you’re stuck in traffic on the M25 and it feels like you’re going nowhere. Whilst waiting for my matches to re-emerge from the Bermuda Triangle of messages and dating apps, I focus on my life – work, friends and hobbies. This includes sending funny Instagram reels to my besties, fantasising about a career change and manifesting that I’m a Tantra Love Coach on my 2026 goals vision board. I’ve become a master chef in the kitchen of my imagination, whipping up tantric rituals to embrace my divine feminine Queen energy to attract my masculine King. (Are you with me yet?)

In my darker moments, I find comfort in the thought that maybe I’m meant for something greater. Perhaps I’m destined to be the star of my own romcom, where the plot revolves around a free spirited woman who finds love in the most unexpected ‘normal’ places. Like at Waitrose or Sainsburys, a friend’s braai (bbq), or at the local village park – where people are more concerned about their four legged fur babies and picking up dog poo than their dating profiles. Or maybe I need to start the trending ‘pineapple in a trolley on Thursday night for singles in supermarkets’ like in Spain? That got your attention yet?

Or the promise from an Instagram psychic reading telling me the tarot cards are showing that my soul mate is already in my life and I already l know him? Hmmmm…I wonder? My mind starts thinking is he already in my WhatsApp contacts, is he in my circle of friends, a single friend of my married mates, an Instagram follower or people I just know? The plot thickens! Or is it some joke from another Ai robot fake account?

Yet despite my taking the piss, in all seriousness let’s not forget the power of belief! I firmly believe that one day, I’ll maybe swipe right on a guy who won’t disappear into the ether, and will actually follow through and meet me. Not just send me countless messages of how pretty I am!

Come on guys – please be vulnerable and show us yourselves! I’m more interested to know more about you, not just physical looks. Yes, chemistry is important! But so is friendship and depth to have a meaningful connection. At some point meeting in real life is where energy and true chemistry and communication is developed. We miss that opportunity if we are just relying on screen to screen interactions.

Or maybe it will be our paths actually cross in real life through an event we both attend, or possibly via sport, a gig, theatre, museum or at a local cafe (romcom fantasies)?

He’ll be the one who sends me a funny message or meme, asks me out, makes me laugh, and most importantly, doesn’t pull a disappearing act after our first deep and meaningful chat. 

So here I am, a hopeful romantic amidst a sea of Ai matching generated digital filters, ready to embrace the absurdity of it all. Maybe I’ll meet my Mr. Right or at least gather enough funny stories to keep my family and friends entertained at braais and dinner parties. Respecting their anonymity of course.

Either way, I’m swiping right on hope, and who knows? The next ‘ping’ or message on my phone might just be the love story I never saw coming, or another episode of ‘Virgin River’?

With love, Suitcase Cally