Category: Books

I was once asked ‘What does it mean to have a spiritual awakening?‘, all my thoughts immediately went to my past script, perceptions, and old hurts.  I immediately placed my guard up, and became defensive.  My old script was about not trusting anything, anybody, or any organisation that mentioned the word spirituality.  I was scared, and didn’t know why.  I was about to learn a valuable lesson in the art of letting go, being open to something different and new.  Change in many guises can be fearful.

Through my studies, and working in the mental health field, despite these words still evoking a momentary emotional reaction, I have learnt to rewire my thinking as best I can.  I stumbled upon a book (accident or meant to be) called ‘The Power of Coincidence:How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know‘ by David Richo.  In his book I sampled a few of the exercises, and discovered some of my old inflated, arrogant, neurotic ego thoughts would say to me:

• I have to be right
• I overreact to minor slights
• I am controlling
• I cannot be criticised
• I demand love, respect, and loyalty no matter what
• I have to return a favour (I must keep it even, don’t owe anyone)
• I can not show that I need others or I am dependant on them for anything

I realised they were negative patterns I was holding, and I came across as compulsive, because of my ‘neurotic ego’ wanting to take charge, be in control, and be self centred.  I was fearful of losing control over anything.  It was a trait of perfection I had to display no matter what happened.

To change my ‘neurotic ego’, and move towards healthier thinking and outward behaviours, I began to practise new ways of thinking, and adapting my perceptions.  This is how I became more open to this idea of letting go old patterns, and invoking a spiritual awareness in my Self:

• I gave up getting my own way  all the time
• I let go of being controlling all the time
• I admit when I am wrong
• I make amends when I am wrong
• I can love a person, and make allowances for them (perfection does not exist)
• I ask for what I want with no expectations that I will necessarily get it

Today when I hear those words ‘spiritual awareness’; I am not fearful because I understand what it means to be me, and I have a choice always to act from a ‘neurotic ego’ or a ‘healthy ego’ state.  No matter what situation I am in, I PAUSE when I am tempted to go the old way, and THINK what is the new way? 

FURTHER READING

The Power of Coincidence: How Life Shows Us What We Need to Know by David Richo