Posted in Body, Health, Humanity, Mind, Recovery, What's on my mind?

Navigating GERD and Barrett’s Oesophagus one day at a time

Thank you NHS

This GERD/Acid Reflux Awareness Week (24-30 November) hits differently when you’ve spent weeks waiting for more answers. I’m sharing my story because for so long I ignored symptoms thinking they would just pass. DENIAL = Don’t even know I’m lying to myself.

The worry, the whatifs, the sleepless nights are a kind of stress people don’t always see.

After seeing my Upper GI surgeon and consultant today, I thought I’d like to raise more awareness of the silent issues and potential cancer risks that can occur if ongoing symptoms are ignored.

Rewind back to July 2012 where it began. I was in an inpatient eating disorder clinic in Cape Town. Under the care of the medical team, the clinic and my GP; I was referred to a specialist gastroenterologist surgeon.   I was evaluated and underwent various tests and had a gastroscopy under general anaesthetic as I’d been experiencing chronic heart burn (acid reflux).

This can be caused by many things not just one issue. My eating disorder history was part of many reasons. Today there is tons of information on gut health, inflammation, the vagus nerve, anxiety, depression and the gut/brain connection. Foods with toxins, chemicals added and other pollutants we are exposed to daily. The list is endless. Combine that with life stress events, and it’s a cocktail of dis-ease waiting silently. Unless we become aware, educate ourselves, self manage and look after our body (our home) to the best of our knowledge.

It was a horrible experience to go through. The prognosis was to avoid surgery and manage the symptoms conservatively after being diagnosed with Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD).  In basic terms I have a leaky lower oesophageal sphincter. Ideally this little guy should stay closed when I’m not eating. Mine doesn’t, so stomach acid flows up into the oesophagus. This is that heart burn feeling of acid reflux.

I was told at the time there was a risk of cancer due to gut inflammation and to revisit surgical options if the short term meds prescribed were not working. I cracked on, and continued my eating disorder treatment programme.

After leaving the clinic I ignored it all,  put it behind me due to the delayed grief of my father’s passing, stress of my divorce,  starting over and I just swept it all under the carpet.  I continued with my eating disorder recovery, life and this included moving countries to England two years later. 

Fast forward to 2025.  Being in denial of symptoms caught up with me the past year, losing my voice for a week, not being able to sing at a live concert in 2024, my voice changing and experiencing various other throat and body symptoms that worsened.  

I had a great summer holiday with my best friend and her family from Cape Town in the south of France in July. Thinking all is okay, life took a turn off the track.

It was due to an incident of coughing up blood on a bank holiday weekend in August after returning from France, that my body said “wake up”! This got my attention very quickly. I was pissed off as I had made beach plans, and to see friends later that day. Bank holiday weekend ruined.

Immediately I was seen as an emergency, medical history taken, and was triaged via the fast track two week cancer route as it was quicker than going privately. I am ever so grateful to my doctor and local hospital because within a week I was undergoing an emergency upper gastrointestinal (GI) endoscopy. This time I was awake for the procedure under local anaesthetic and had various other blood tests. 

I won’t lie the past three months have been tough emotionally and mentally waiting for the results, and the follow up appointment to see my Upper GI Surgeon and Consultant.  Mindful of holistic practices such as tumeric shots for inflammation, looking for quick fixes, managing food triggers, lifestyle changes and deep meditation didn’t help me much. Worried due to time I’ve had to take off work for tests and days I was unwell, it’s not been the greatest chapter of my career this past year.

Yet, I continued to trust in a higher power and believe that answers will come. This has been a big life moment happening for me, not to me. There was no use being a victim, and I’ve had to trust and practice radical acceptance. The body keeps score and emotional stresses over past years are part of my life journey.

Today I saw my surgeon and he went over all my test results and endoscopy images. We created a new management and lifestyle plan to move forward.  I’m grateful for the clarity and the chance to protect my health. I was armed with questions from my research, which he answered graciously; as I had been diagnosed with Barrett’s Oesophagus a potential precancerous condition as a result of GERD. There’s no magic wand and it all goes away overnight. Small changes, one day at a time.

Living with chronic acid reflux has taught me that its long term effects aren’t always obvious. Conditions like Barrett’s Oesophagus or silent throat cancer can develop quietly, without dramatic symptoms. That’s why the endoscopy, the biopsies of the growths discovered in my oesophagus and gut; plus the waiting felt so heavy, trying to not live in fear after my medical tests.

But today I received the relief I needed. Confirming no throat cancer, no dangerous changes to the cells and lining of my oesophagus. Benign. A big YAY!

I’m grateful for this outcome, the medical team and monitoring which allows silent problems to be caught early. Some people don’t know they even have throat cancer until it’s too late. 

I move forward with more awareness now not fear.  I’ll be placed into a NHS screening programme to monitor for any cell changes. I have huge gratitude for the future screenings, not as something to fear; but as vigilance, and I trust that Barrett’s never progresses into cancer.

Thanks to my mum and a tight close circle of friends who supported me during this journey. Knowing my good friends and neighbour had my back to look after my cat and me (if I needed help) when I went into the hospital was a blessing, as my immediate family don’t live locally.  I love you!  I’m also very grateful to my people leader at work who has been supportive and understanding when I was honest with him. It’s been a challenging period navigating work pressures on top of everything else.

Asking for help has never been my strong trait. This life chapter has shown me that sometimes being a strong independent woman is bullshit. Knowing when to ask and receive help is important, and to let trusted people in and be vulnerable. 

Conducting your own research is important and I’m thankful for the Upper GI medical team at the hospital giving me lots of additional information and support. Charities such as Guts UK, and Heartburn Cancer UK have helped me the past few months to educate myself to have my questions answered today by my surgeon. Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️ .

If you are experiencing similar digestion issues or something feels off, or has changed, and it’s not improving, trust your intuition and see your GP.  Early detection can save lives and be treated. 

Links for support: 

OPA Cancer Charity: https://opa.org.uk/ for Oesophageal and Gastric support

Guts UK : https://gutscharity.org.uk/

Heartburn Cancer UK: Heartburn – Barrett’s – Oesophageal Cancer- Heartburn Cancer UK

If you’re going through a similar situation, waiting for medical test results or finally getting the clarity you need, I hope you get the answers to heal and move forward.  I just want you to know you’re not alone, listen to your body as it deserves to be heard.

With love, Suitcase Cally 🩷 ✨

Posted in Fun, Inspiration, travel

No Travel Buddy? No Problem! 7 Solo Travel Tips for first timers

I remember a time I flew by myself from Johannesburg to Perth when I was 19 years old. I overpacked and my parents had to take a suitcase back home. My dad was fuming at the thought he was going to be charged a luggage overweight penalty of R1000 for my magazines, books and music collection! Crying, my mom and dad helped me sort out my packing at the check-in desk. I was mortified, as I somehow thought I needed to take my favourite possessions with me! I slept on a chair in Harare airport in a long layover back then as there were no direct flights due to travel embargoes. I was taken to lunch by an airport porter for passengers in limbo to the in-transit restaurant. A white linen tablecloth covered the table, as I sat with other passengers. We were greeted by a local Zimbabwean with a great beaming smile as our waiter served a chicken type lunch. It was the beginning of many solo trips. I was also fortunate to travel with friends and partners I had over the years, and have had many great experiences globally.

Lately I have been taking solo trips as a singleton again, and so many of my friends over the years say to me “How do you do it? I couldn’t do that!” Well firstly it takes a big dose of courage as there are some places or events or friends I really want to see. Secondly it requires practice! I say that tongue in cheek and embarking on a journey alone can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Solo travel offers a unique opportunity to discover new places, meet interesting people, and ultimately, discover your own true self.

Planning a solo bucket list trip can be daunting if you’re wanting to follow your desires yet there’s some angst. This blog post is to help ease your concerns and provide guidance on making your first solo adventure a success.

  1. Choose the right destination for you: Before setting off on your solo adventure, carefully select a destination that aligns with your interests and comfort level. Opt for places known for their friendly locals, safety record, and ease of navigation. Research destinations that cater to solo travellers, with plenty of social activities, suitable accommodation that you want to stay in, and a vibrant community scene if you’re wanting a blend of fun and chill out time. This gives you some opportunities to chat to people and sometimes you may meet other fellow travellers. My own experience travelling solo is couples and families tend to stick to themselves. It can be lonely at times and this has taught me to become more comfortable being by myself with my own company.
  2. Plan, but leave room for spontaneity: While it’s essential to plan your trip in advance, leave space for spontaneous adventures. Prepare a loose itinerary with must-see attractions, local experiences, and any necessary bookings or reservations. But also embrace the freedom to change your plans, follow the recommendations of fellow travellers or locals you meet, and seize unexpected opportunities that arise. One of the things I like to do is look at local attractions on the AirBnb app. I booked a pastry making course in Antibes and learnt to make croissants with a local French pastry chef. It was held in her home and I had a one to one lesson and great conversation as we learnt about each others lives. It was a chance to practice French and English for both of us!
  3. Pack light and smart: Travelling solo means you’re responsible for handling your luggage all by yourself. Pack light, bringing only the essentials. Aim for a versatile wardrobe based on the climate and culture of your destination. Don’t forget to research the local customs and dress code, ensuring you respect their traditions. This is particularly so when I’ve travelled to Middle Eastern cultures and being mindful. Do your research! Additionally, invest in a reliable anti-theft backpack to keep your belongings secure. Not my greatest tip for me, as I still overpack sometimes as I have been caught out with lost luggage too several times! I’ve got better at this one! Most places have shops so be prepared to buy clothes if needed and leave the heavy stuff behind at home. Not easy during winter though with jackets and jumpers.
  4. Stay connected and safe: Inform your loved ones about your travel plans, share your itinerary, and keep them updated regularly. Stay connected through international SIM cards, Wi-Fi, or local SIM cards upon arrival. Familiarise yourself with local emergency numbers and download apps like city guides, translators, or those specifically designed for solo travellers.
  5. Adopt a positive attitude and stay open-minded: One of the joys of solo travel is immersing yourself in new cultures, connecting with locals, and embracing unexpected encounters. Approach each interaction with an open mind, be respectful of local customs and traditions, and engage in meaningful conversations. Embrace the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, challenge your limits, and to grow personally. Most people are friendly and if they hear you have an accent that’s always a great conversation opener in my experience as people are naturally curious.
  6. Connect with other travellers or not: Although solo travel allows for independence, joining organised tours can present fantastic opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. If you feel like it join group activities, or local tours, or participate in organised adventure trips. Engaging with other travellers not only provides companionship but also enhances your travel experience by gaining valuable insights and creating new friendships. I made a new friend from Japan on one of my trips back to Perth cuddling koalas at Cohunu Koala Park. We still message each other now and then knowing the door is open if we visit each other’s countries in future. Again this is a very personal experience and sometimes I may do a hybrid tour and select parts of it and abort the rest. Go with whatever works for you!
  7. Stay mindful and trust your instincts: Solo travel can be empowering and liberating, but it’s crucial to stay vigilant and trust your instincts. Pay attention to what’s around you if you are not sure where you are. Act confidently, avoid displaying your valuables, and never hesitate to seek assistance from trusted sources like hotels, tourist offices, or police personnel. It’s important to trust your instinct and stay close to people if you feel nervous or unsafe.

Solo travel can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life, offering profound personal growth, self-discovery, and lasting memories. By choosing the right destination, planning ahead, staying connected, and embracing the opportunities that come your way, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying the limitless possibilities of travelling by yourself.

So pack your bags, put on your brave face, and get ready to embark on a journey of a lifetime! Book that bucket list trip!

Posted in Creativity, Humanity, Recovery, Relationships, travel

Twin flames and creativity

Wallaby dinner date

I read a long time ago we are destined to meet our twin flame on our love journey when we are in love with ourselves too. And by that I mean healthy love. A concept I learned along the way. Self care is so important for wellbeing and I had to learn to become friends with myself too.

There are three major loves we experience, young love, the love that gives the lessons, and the one we don’t see coming, true love or twinflame love. I liken it to twin flowers a journey of transformation that prepares us for the one.

Listening to music certainly raises my vibes and I feel happy listening to uplifting songs. Meaning and connection comes through music, sounds, sensations and dancing for me since I was a little girl. My family were big lovers of music as I listened to my parents’ records growing up as I played on my little SuitcaseCally recorder and baby guitar. Music fuels me as I’m a big fan of live concerts too and am looking forward to seeing one of my favourite bands next month followed by another favourite in July from my teen years!

My guitar has been a lifelong passion to learn and lessons are back on the table as I keep stopping for some reason. Progress not perfection!

Recently I explored this hesitation again through the ‘Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron’s three month course. I had started this artistic process in Cape Town years ago when I lived there and was working in a Addiction Counselling role. I loved what I created in Cape Town and moving back to London, back on the rat race wheel I forgot to do what I love as I got caught up in working, doing, and learning again. Mental!

This time around so much more was uncovered as I reclaimed creative parts of myself again I had buried, due to limiting beliefs strongly influenced by others projecting their beliefs and comparison to others on me.

A load of BS stories I had made up again. So I made a decision to start again where I am now, there’s no right or wrong way. For me ‘selfie artist dates’ are a norm now in my week. I love the ideas that come flowing through me when I’m in the present moment, and magic happens organically leading me to navigate my life more peacefully and feeling joy.

Attracting like minded friends and souls who have experienced similar experiences and challenges has been a blessing, and I know my twin flame flower is out there soon to be united as friends.

In the meantime I keep singing, moving forward and listening to my SuitcaseCally Twin flames playlist for some great music!

The SuitcaseCally photos below are taken on my ‘selfie artist date’ on Saturday 30 April 2022 enjoying the sculptures by South African artist Anton Smit at Leonardslee Gardens in West Sussex. Well worth a visit to embrace the beauty of nature and art connected in this wonderland tucked away.

Keep creating your best life! The time is now…

Posted in Humanity, What's on my mind?

Yearning for home

My favourite beach in Cape Town

“Nostalgia – a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.”

Layers uncovered I thought I had healed as I was triggered as mercury retrograde showed up today as waves of nostalgia hit me.

Sitting with the feelings I gave myself permission to release stored grief for memories of people over the years I hold close in my heart in a root chakra meditation. Tears triggered by a visit to a hospital appointment I had this morning.

The people who were there for me and me for them once upon a time. My tribe, my home and sense of security and belonging ripped away as I have been rebuilding and starting over – again. A recurring theme in my lifetime, moving countries searching for home and at times being the runner archetype in relationships when I feel my safety threatened.

Home is where the heart is and living overseas away from these memories and people has only made it harder for me to attempt to settle in a country that has still not delivered on the same feelings I experienced with my old tribe.

My living in the ‘past’ and what could have been has halted me moving forward some days it feels like. But that’s not completely true as I had new opportunities to grab and experience, and lessons to learn through growth and changing lanes. There were new people to meet – friends, coaches and mentors to show me a new path. I’ve met lovely people and they are kind to me. We get along, we laugh, we talk, we collaborate and make the effort to form relationships.

So why do I still want and chase a feeling that only exists in my memories and heart now from a time in the past? That nostalgic yearning hurts so deep some days. Perhaps it’s the parts of me that come alive when I’m thriving, living and loving fully that I miss.

It’s like I’m afraid to let people in sometimes now to the real me, as so many left me behind, or as I learnt I had a more vested interest to try and maintain relationships than they did that I had to let go. I’m learning to be more protective of who I give my energy to and who I allow to receive from. A very big lesson as I’ve learnt to trust my intuition more.

Yet my ego sometimes wants to block receiving love as a protection when I’m around certain energies and vibes of people. But it has the complete opposite affect of not feeling like I belong anywhere. And that’s not a cool feeling! In some ways travel restrictions have forced me to stay and not run away from myself and get on a plane at every opportunity I craved excitement or wanted to run away.

Is this the lesson of letting go and experiences of people I needed to face and grow as a person? The ones who come and go, the ones who stay, and the ones who show up temporarily to teach me something.

Whatever’s best for me is accepting what’s meant to have happened is the only way it could have happened in the way that it did. Yet I’m releasing tears as I miss those moments and the parts of myself that shone when I was around my tribe, and experiencing a feeling of belonging and being ‘at home in my self’. Someone once said to me I have to learn to be completely at home with me too and not attached to people or places. I felt that.

Faces I painted living in Cape Town

Having faith I find home again in me and with a new tribe I let go of all expectations and trust it will all work out. Those meant to be in my life will show up, some people stay and some may return. For now I embrace the unknown and settle into my internal home – me.

The poem by Safire Rose ‘Letting Go’ resonates with parts of me as I let go of the thoughts blocking me from my future.

She let go.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She just let go.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…’

-Safire Rose

Posted in travel

Innocence

Love matters

Years ago I was sent an email and it was one I kept as it warmed my heart when I was going through a challenging period of healing from grief and loss.

I don’t know who the original author is as I would give credit to them.

Kids often know the meaning of the word “love” better than adults.

“What Love means to a 4-8 year old…”

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds :

‘What does love mean?’

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

Terri – age 4

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.’

Emily – age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.’

Nikka – age 6

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’

Noelle – age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare – age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris – age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4

‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’

Karen – age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’

Mark – age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8

And the final one…

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. Whenever his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry.’

Keep the love vibrations flowing and return to innocence on those days when we are challenged ❤️.