Posted in Fun, Inspiration, travel

No Travel Buddy? No Problem! 7 Solo Travel Tips for first timers

I remember a time I flew by myself from Johannesburg to Perth when I was 19 years old. I overpacked and my parents had to take a suitcase back home. My dad was fuming at the thought he was going to be charged a luggage overweight penalty of R1000 for my magazines, books and music collection! Crying, my mom and dad helped me sort out my packing at the check-in desk. I was mortified, as I somehow thought I needed to take my favourite possessions with me! I slept on a chair in Harare airport in a long layover back then as there were no direct flights due to travel embargoes. I was taken to lunch by an airport porter for passengers in limbo to the in-transit restaurant. A white linen tablecloth covered the table, as I sat with other passengers. We were greeted by a local Zimbabwean with a great beaming smile as our waiter served a chicken type lunch. It was the beginning of many solo trips. I was also fortunate to travel with friends and partners I had over the years, and have had many great experiences globally.

Lately I have been taking solo trips as a singleton again, and so many of my friends over the years say to me “How do you do it? I couldn’t do that!” Well firstly it takes a big dose of courage as there are some places or events or friends I really want to see. Secondly it requires practice! I say that tongue in cheek and embarking on a journey alone can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Solo travel offers a unique opportunity to discover new places, meet interesting people, and ultimately, discover your own true self.

Planning a solo bucket list trip can be daunting if you’re wanting to follow your desires yet there’s some angst. This blog post is to help ease your concerns and provide guidance on making your first solo adventure a success.

  1. Choose the right destination for you: Before setting off on your solo adventure, carefully select a destination that aligns with your interests and comfort level. Opt for places known for their friendly locals, safety record, and ease of navigation. Research destinations that cater to solo travellers, with plenty of social activities, suitable accommodation that you want to stay in, and a vibrant community scene if you’re wanting a blend of fun and chill out time. This gives you some opportunities to chat to people and sometimes you may meet other fellow travellers. My own experience travelling solo is couples and families tend to stick to themselves. It can be lonely at times and this has taught me to become more comfortable being by myself with my own company.
  2. Plan, but leave room for spontaneity: While it’s essential to plan your trip in advance, leave space for spontaneous adventures. Prepare a loose itinerary with must-see attractions, local experiences, and any necessary bookings or reservations. But also embrace the freedom to change your plans, follow the recommendations of fellow travellers or locals you meet, and seize unexpected opportunities that arise. One of the things I like to do is look at local attractions on the AirBnb app. I booked a pastry making course in Antibes and learnt to make croissants with a local French pastry chef. It was held in her home and I had a one to one lesson and great conversation as we learnt about each others lives. It was a chance to practice French and English for both of us!
  3. Pack light and smart: Travelling solo means you’re responsible for handling your luggage all by yourself. Pack light, bringing only the essentials. Aim for a versatile wardrobe based on the climate and culture of your destination. Don’t forget to research the local customs and dress code, ensuring you respect their traditions. This is particularly so when I’ve travelled to Middle Eastern cultures and being mindful. Do your research! Additionally, invest in a reliable anti-theft backpack to keep your belongings secure. Not my greatest tip for me, as I still overpack sometimes as I have been caught out with lost luggage too several times! I’ve got better at this one! Most places have shops so be prepared to buy clothes if needed and leave the heavy stuff behind at home. Not easy during winter though with jackets and jumpers.
  4. Stay connected and safe: Inform your loved ones about your travel plans, share your itinerary, and keep them updated regularly. Stay connected through international SIM cards, Wi-Fi, or local SIM cards upon arrival. Familiarise yourself with local emergency numbers and download apps like city guides, translators, or those specifically designed for solo travellers.
  5. Adopt a positive attitude and stay open-minded: One of the joys of solo travel is immersing yourself in new cultures, connecting with locals, and embracing unexpected encounters. Approach each interaction with an open mind, be respectful of local customs and traditions, and engage in meaningful conversations. Embrace the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, challenge your limits, and to grow personally. Most people are friendly and if they hear you have an accent that’s always a great conversation opener in my experience as people are naturally curious.
  6. Connect with other travellers or not: Although solo travel allows for independence, joining organised tours can present fantastic opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. If you feel like it join group activities, or local tours, or participate in organised adventure trips. Engaging with other travellers not only provides companionship but also enhances your travel experience by gaining valuable insights and creating new friendships. I made a new friend from Japan on one of my trips back to Perth cuddling koalas at Cohunu Koala Park. We still message each other now and then knowing the door is open if we visit each other’s countries in future. Again this is a very personal experience and sometimes I may do a hybrid tour and select parts of it and abort the rest. Go with whatever works for you!
  7. Stay mindful and trust your instincts: Solo travel can be empowering and liberating, but it’s crucial to stay vigilant and trust your instincts. Pay attention to what’s around you if you are not sure where you are. Act confidently, avoid displaying your valuables, and never hesitate to seek assistance from trusted sources like hotels, tourist offices, or police personnel. It’s important to trust your instinct and stay close to people if you feel nervous or unsafe.

Solo travel can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life, offering profound personal growth, self-discovery, and lasting memories. By choosing the right destination, planning ahead, staying connected, and embracing the opportunities that come your way, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying the limitless possibilities of travelling by yourself.

So pack your bags, put on your brave face, and get ready to embark on a journey of a lifetime! Book that bucket list trip!

Posted in Creativity, Humanity, Inspiration, Recovery, Relationships, travel, What's on my mind?, Wisdom

Divine Feminine: “These are the Women”

Photo credit: @suitcasecally I took this photo in my old home town near the clinic I used to work at in Cape Town. If you’re ever heading out from Misty Cliffs and Scarborough area be sure to visit the open African Art studio nestled under the trees next door to Gina’s African Art Shop on the M65 Redhill Road

A few years ago I started to research, learn, understand and explore divine feminine and masculine energies. Terms I hadn’t really considered or given much thought to on my own healing journey and in my work as a former counsellor.

It wasn’t until looked back that I started to make the connections along the way and why certain people, things and places had to change. I became more aware of getting to know myself, and peeling away layers of old patterns, beliefs and challenging myself to step out of my shell. It’s still an ongoing journey and understanding energies has heightened my awareness around me when I meet people along the path who have been my inspiration and teachers or mentors. Like attracts like, and not chasing or trying to fix or control anymore has been liberating. Trusting more in myself and my intuition to guide me is still work in progress.

We are one – embracing both feminine and masculine energies. Yet we can be too dominant either way and being able to flex and shift ourselves requires a deeper awareness of energies, thoughts, emotions and behaviours. As a former mentor once shared Shakespeare’s quote with me “to thine own self be true”!

These words written by Sophie Bashford resonated with me as she describes beautifully what it’s like to be bold and courageous, share wisdom and walk a path off the beaten track.

THESE ARE THE WOMEN

“Women who are called into divine feminine service – that of raising the collective feminine spiritual vibration quotient on this planet – are not shrinking violets.

These women – who no doubt possess an ocean of the purest unconditional love and compassion at their conjoined Hearts – must be strong, bold and wise enough to make waves wherever they are sent.

These women are the Ones who walk into old paradigms and shake them up at their core.

These women are the Ones who have heard the Call of the Mountains, of the Sea, and of the Stars and Wind, and are doing something about it.

They are compassionate enough to have heard the desperate cries of those who need their Light. They are brave enough to move out of their own self-deprecation and self-doubt, and move into communities that require a sensitive, wise, age-old and intuitive voice to lead them back to sanity.

These women are not ‘nice’. They are not compliant. They are not people-pleasers. They do not seek approval from every ego that crosses their path. They do not adhere to the embedded morality and restrictions related to ‘what good girls do’.

They are not ‘good girls’. They are not ‘bad girls’ either. They refuse to be put into boxes because they have chosen to release and liberate their Spirits.

If they only lived to seek approval from others then they would be agreeing to the status quo as it is right now in this world.

Finally.

These courageous, pioneering females have appetites for life, for love, for sex, for food, for men, for women, for the earth, for the Light.

They have appetites for power, and they are greedy for personal and spiritual expansion.

When you control a woman’s appetite for anything, you make it easier to control her.

These women were never, ever destined to be controlled. They have been given very specific roles by the Goddess to go into achingly-old and crumbling patriarchal paradigms, and break them up.

They have been selected to charge into places that are stuck, dead, overgrown with weeds, blocked and numb. They bring with them their overarching Higher Wisdom and carefully-honed skills of healing.

They know, deep inside, that the people and places that they are sent to are designed to be broken open, broken down, broken through.

This is not an easy task because it demands total courage and conviction of the Self.

It demands total Wholeness, Self-Realisation, Commitment to Truth, Unwavering Faith and Devotion to the Greater Good.

It demands Vision and Foresight.

It demands staying centred in the eye of the storm.

It demands all their inner resources to create frequency changes, stir up the emotional and spiritual waters, expose secrets and lies, confront denials and plant the seeds of extreme and radical transformation.

When these Women are called in, changes start.

All that has been repressed and denied begins to surface. The healing starts, but first comes the chaos.

Women of Spirit are not afraid of chaos, because they know that all New Light is born from it.

They are not afraid of intense emotions. They are not afraid of the ego’s reactions to being threatened by Divine Love.

Women who are in their Wholeness are a threat to the Old Order.

Women who love themselves, their bodies, their hearts, their intuitive senses, their psychic gifts, their ability to love without manipulation or fear – these women are dangerous to the status quo.

These women have energy to change the earth, bring Her back to balance, bring Her back to Love.

Because they are not wasting time or energy hating themselves. They are not wasting time worrying about what others think of their brazen confidence, their unapologetic, raw creative and sexual power, their mesmerising intelligence, and ability to rule the world.

These women do not have to apologise for existing.

They do not have to make themselves quieter, smaller, more ‘appropriate’, less visible or diminished.

They are sent to Earth to love with a fierce quality of compassion and wild, sacred intensity that has no roots in the ego.

This kind of Healing Love can only ever emanate from the Spirit.

These are brave, wise, visionary, patient, persevering, devoted and relentless females.

They will keep going until their last human breath on the earth plane.

They will not stop.

These are Women who Live to carry out tasks of great global and universal importance. Don’t underestimate the nature of these Holy Tasks. There are many who live here who want to bring them down; who can’t handle their ability to reveal Truth; who wither in the face of such unbridled self-love.

Who the hell do these women think they are?

Who do they think they are, to go around believing in themselves, loving themselves, admiring themselves, using their talents, expounding their ideas, opinions and wisdom, spreading their goddamn-blinding-Light?

Women who don’t need approval from men to feel they are valid. Women who don’t need to be kept by a man to feel they are safe. Women who don’t need to be in a relationship just to feel worthy.

These are women who really, truly love men.

These are the women that hold the Real Keys to the spiritual progression of the Masculine.

They are the Ones who will love men from a place of re-discovered Wholeness and Empowered Essence.

This is what Men really want, and need, in order to be free, divinely-motivated, built-up, charged and ready for the New Era.

These Women of Spirit NEED men, and adore men. But they are programmed to CHALLENGE men at their very existential core.

In order for these Women to be ravished, taken, blown-open to God and taken into worshipful ecstasy by Men, they need first to have challenged them, pushed them, confronted them and ignited their Spirits.

These Women have a Contract to show the men who are ready for them Who They Really Are.

And this only happens if women make waves, make noise, challenge untruth, unashamedly reveal and display their power, and look unwaveringly into the eyes of any who would seek to diminish them.

If you know a woman like this, you will already have felt the vibrations of her.

If you are this woman, don’t give up.

If you want to be this woman, you have full Divine permission.

Go, and rock the world on it’s axis.

You were never, ever born to be forgotten. You will always, eternally, be remembered.”

Copyright 2016 Sophie Bashford

Visit her website and Facebook page for further information if you feel the call to go deeper into your soul.

Photo credit: @suitcasecally I took this photo in my old home town near the clinic I used to work at in Cape Town. If you’re ever heading out from Misty Cliffs and Scarborough area be sure to visit the open African Art studio nestled under the trees next door to Gina’s African Art Shop on the M65 Redhill Road

Posted in Creativity, Humanity, Recovery, Relationships, travel

Twin flames and creativity

Wallaby dinner date

I read a long time ago we are destined to meet our twin flame on our love journey when we are in love with ourselves too. And by that I mean healthy love. A concept I learned along the way. Self care is so important for wellbeing and I had to learn to become friends with myself too.

There are three major loves we experience, young love, the love that gives the lessons, and the one we don’t see coming, true love or twinflame love. I liken it to twin flowers a journey of transformation that prepares us for the one.

Listening to music certainly raises my vibes and I feel happy listening to uplifting songs. Meaning and connection comes through music, sounds, sensations and dancing for me since I was a little girl. My family were big lovers of music as I listened to my parents’ records growing up as I played on my little SuitcaseCally recorder and baby guitar. Music fuels me as I’m a big fan of live concerts too and am looking forward to seeing one of my favourite bands next month followed by another favourite in July from my teen years!

My guitar has been a lifelong passion to learn and lessons are back on the table as I keep stopping for some reason. Progress not perfection!

Recently I explored this hesitation again through the ‘Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron’s three month course. I had started this artistic process in Cape Town years ago when I lived there and was working in a Addiction Counselling role. I loved what I created in Cape Town and moving back to London, back on the rat race wheel I forgot to do what I love as I got caught up in working, doing, and learning again. Mental!

This time around so much more was uncovered as I reclaimed creative parts of myself again I had buried, due to limiting beliefs strongly influenced by others projecting their beliefs and comparison to others on me.

A load of BS stories I had made up again. So I made a decision to start again where I am now, there’s no right or wrong way. For me ‘selfie artist dates’ are a norm now in my week. I love the ideas that come flowing through me when I’m in the present moment, and magic happens organically leading me to navigate my life more peacefully and feeling joy.

Attracting like minded friends and souls who have experienced similar experiences and challenges has been a blessing, and I know my twin flame flower is out there soon to be united as friends.

In the meantime I keep singing, moving forward and listening to my SuitcaseCally Twin flames playlist for some great music!

The SuitcaseCally photos below are taken on my ‘selfie artist date’ on Saturday 30 April 2022 enjoying the sculptures by South African artist Anton Smit at Leonardslee Gardens in West Sussex. Well worth a visit to embrace the beauty of nature and art connected in this wonderland tucked away.

Keep creating your best life! The time is now…

Posted in Humanity, What's on my mind?

Yearning for home

My favourite beach in Cape Town

“Nostalgia – a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.”

Layers uncovered I thought I had healed as I was triggered as mercury retrograde showed up today as waves of nostalgia hit me.

Sitting with the feelings I gave myself permission to release stored grief for memories of people over the years I hold close in my heart in a root chakra meditation. Tears triggered by a visit to a hospital appointment I had this morning.

The people who were there for me and me for them once upon a time. My tribe, my home and sense of security and belonging ripped away as I have been rebuilding and starting over – again. A recurring theme in my lifetime, moving countries searching for home and at times being the runner archetype in relationships when I feel my safety threatened.

Home is where the heart is and living overseas away from these memories and people has only made it harder for me to attempt to settle in a country that has still not delivered on the same feelings I experienced with my old tribe.

My living in the ‘past’ and what could have been has halted me moving forward some days it feels like. But that’s not completely true as I had new opportunities to grab and experience, and lessons to learn through growth and changing lanes. There were new people to meet – friends, coaches and mentors to show me a new path. I’ve met lovely people and they are kind to me. We get along, we laugh, we talk, we collaborate and make the effort to form relationships.

So why do I still want and chase a feeling that only exists in my memories and heart now from a time in the past? That nostalgic yearning hurts so deep some days. Perhaps it’s the parts of me that come alive when I’m thriving, living and loving fully that I miss.

It’s like I’m afraid to let people in sometimes now to the real me, as so many left me behind, or as I learnt I had a more vested interest to try and maintain relationships than they did that I had to let go. I’m learning to be more protective of who I give my energy to and who I allow to receive from. A very big lesson as I’ve learnt to trust my intuition more.

Yet my ego sometimes wants to block receiving love as a protection when I’m around certain energies and vibes of people. But it has the complete opposite affect of not feeling like I belong anywhere. And that’s not a cool feeling! In some ways travel restrictions have forced me to stay and not run away from myself and get on a plane at every opportunity I craved excitement or wanted to run away.

Is this the lesson of letting go and experiences of people I needed to face and grow as a person? The ones who come and go, the ones who stay, and the ones who show up temporarily to teach me something.

Whatever’s best for me is accepting what’s meant to have happened is the only way it could have happened in the way that it did. Yet I’m releasing tears as I miss those moments and the parts of myself that shone when I was around my tribe, and experiencing a feeling of belonging and being ‘at home in my self’. Someone once said to me I have to learn to be completely at home with me too and not attached to people or places. I felt that.

Faces I painted living in Cape Town

Having faith I find home again in me and with a new tribe I let go of all expectations and trust it will all work out. Those meant to be in my life will show up, some people stay and some may return. For now I embrace the unknown and settle into my internal home – me.

The poem by Safire Rose ‘Letting Go’ resonates with parts of me as I let go of the thoughts blocking me from my future.

She let go.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She just let go.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…’

-Safire Rose

Posted in Humanity, Quotes, Relationships, What's on my mind?, Wisdom

“Letting go wisdom” from Anthony Hopkins

Internal peace is a great feeling – art sculpture photo taken from a favourite artist in Hout Bay, Cape Town

Lessons from the past 18 months have shown me the true colours of people and highlighted where I needed to grow and change from outdated relationships-season, reason or lifetime? We adapt, we learn, we grow, and let go for the new. Some stay, some go, and some new people arrive who are my tribe of feel good vibes. There is no race as we all adapt and grow at different paces. These words I stumbled across and it really resonated with me to what I have been randomly feeling and thinking yet had no intention of trying to articulate into meaningful written words.

‘Let go of people who aren’t ready to love you yet! This is the hardest thing you’ll have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing: stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you yet.
Stop hard conversations with people who don’t want to change.
Stop showing up for people who are indifferent to your presence.
Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you.

Let the light in

I know your instincts do everything to win the good mercy of everyone around you, but it’s also the impulse that will steal your time, energy and mental, physical and spiritual health.

When you start manifesting yourself in your life, completely, with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to find you in this place of pure sincerity.

That doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are. That means you have to stop loving people who don’t want to love you yet.
When you are excluded, subtly offended, forgotten or easily ignored by people you give time to, you don’t do yourself any favour by allowing them your energy and your life.
The truth is that you’re not for everyone…
And that not everyone is for you…
That makes this world so special, when you find the few people you have friendship, love or a true relationship with…

You will know how valuable that is…
Because you have experienced what isn’t…
But the more time you spend trying to make you loved by someone who cant…
The more time you waste depriving the same connection…

There are billions of people on this planet, and many of them will end up with you, on their level, with their vibration, from where they stand…

But…
The smaller you stay, involved in the privacy of people who use you as a pillow, background option, a therapist and a strategy for their emotional healing…
More time you stay out of the community you wish for.
If you stop showing up, you might be less wanted…
If you stop trying, the relationship might stop…
If you stop texting, your phone stays dark for days and weeks…
Maybe if you stop loving someone, the love between you will dissolve…
That doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship!
That means all this relationship had was the energy that only you and you hire to keep it in the air.

It’s not love.
That’s attachment.
That’s wanting to give a chance to those who don’t want it!

The most valuable and most important thing you have in your life is your energy.
Its not just your time because it’s limited…
It’s your energy!
What you give every day is what will become more and more in your life.
It’s the ones you give time and energy that will define your existence.

When you realize this, you start to understand why you are so impatient when you spend your time with people that don’t suit you, and in activities, places, situations that don’t suit you.

You’re starting to realize that the most important thing you can do for your life, for yourself and for everyone you know, protect your energy stronger than anything.

Turn your life into a safe sanctuary where only ” compatible ” people with you are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving people.
You are not responsible to convince them to be saved.

It’s not your job to exist for people and give them your life, little by little, moment after the moment!

Because if you feel bad or if you feel obliged; you are the root of all of this by your insisting, afraid they promise you the favors you won’t give them…

It’s your only fact to realize that you are the loved one of your destiny and to accept the love you think you deserve.

Decide you deserve a true friendship.

Wait then… just a minute…
And look how everything is starting to change…”

Link to Thought Catalogue original article: https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/