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Posted in Body, Health, Humanity, Mind, Recovery, What's on my mind?

Navigating GERD and Barrett’s Oesophagus one day at a time

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Thank you NHS

This GERD/Acid Reflux Awareness Week (24-30 November) hits differently when you’ve spent weeks waiting for more answers. I’m sharing my story because for so long I ignored symptoms thinking they would just pass. DENIAL = Don’t even know I’m lying to myself.

The worry, the whatifs, the sleepless nights are a kind of stress people don’t always see.

After seeing my Upper GI surgeon and consultant today, I thought I’d like to raise more awareness of the silent issues and potential cancer risks that can occur if ongoing symptoms are ignored.

Rewind back to July 2012 where it began. I was in an inpatient eating disorder clinic in Cape Town. Under the care of the medical team, the clinic and my GP; I was referred to a specialist gastroenterologist surgeon.   I was evaluated and underwent various tests and had a gastroscopy under general anaesthetic as I’d been experiencing chronic heart burn (acid reflux).

This can be caused by many things not just one issue. My eating disorder history was part of many reasons. Today there is tons of information on gut health, inflammation, the vagus nerve, anxiety, depression and the gut/brain connection. Foods with toxins, chemicals added and other pollutants we are exposed to daily. The list is endless. Combine that with life stress events, and it’s a cocktail of dis-ease waiting silently. Unless we become aware, educate ourselves, self manage and look after our body (our home) to the best of our knowledge.

It was a horrible experience to go through. The prognosis was to avoid surgery and manage the symptoms conservatively after being diagnosed with Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease (GERD).  In basic terms I have a leaky lower oesophageal sphincter. Ideally this little guy should stay closed when I’m not eating. Mine doesn’t, so stomach acid flows up into the oesophagus. This is that heart burn feeling of acid reflux.

I was told at the time there was a risk of cancer due to gut inflammation and to revisit surgical options if the short term meds prescribed were not working. I cracked on, and continued my eating disorder treatment programme.

After leaving the clinic I ignored it all,  put it behind me due to the delayed grief of my father’s passing, stress of my divorce,  starting over and I just swept it all under the carpet.  I continued with my eating disorder recovery, life and this included moving countries to England two years later. 

Fast forward to 2025.  Being in denial of symptoms caught up with me the past year, losing my voice for a week, not being able to sing at a live concert in 2024, my voice changing and experiencing various other throat and body symptoms that worsened.  

I had a great summer holiday with my best friend and her family from Cape Town in the south of France in July. Thinking all is okay, life took a turn off the track.

It was due to an incident of coughing up blood on a bank holiday weekend in August after returning from France, that my body said “wake up”! This got my attention very quickly. I was pissed off as I had made beach plans, and to see friends later that day. Bank holiday weekend ruined.

Immediately I was seen as an emergency, medical history taken, and was triaged via the fast track two week cancer route as it was quicker than going privately. I am ever so grateful to my doctor and local hospital because within a week I was undergoing an emergency upper gastrointestinal (GI) endoscopy. This time I was awake for the procedure under local anaesthetic and had various other blood tests. 

I won’t lie the past three months have been tough emotionally and mentally waiting for the results, and the follow up appointment to see my Upper GI Surgeon and Consultant.  Mindful of holistic practices such as tumeric shots for inflammation, looking for quick fixes, managing food triggers, lifestyle changes and deep meditation didn’t help me much. Worried due to time I’ve had to take off work for tests and days I was unwell, it’s not been the greatest chapter of my career this past year.

Yet, I continued to trust in a higher power and believe that answers will come. This has been a big life moment happening for me, not to me. There was no use being a victim, and I’ve had to trust and practice radical acceptance. The body keeps score and emotional stresses over past years are part of my life journey.

Today I saw my surgeon and he went over all my test results and endoscopy images. We created a new management and lifestyle plan to move forward.  I’m grateful for the clarity and the chance to protect my health. I was armed with questions from my research, which he answered graciously; as I had been diagnosed with Barrett’s Oesophagus a potential precancerous condition as a result of GERD. There’s no magic wand and it all goes away overnight. Small changes, one day at a time.

Living with chronic acid reflux has taught me that its long term effects aren’t always obvious. Conditions like Barrett’s Oesophagus or silent throat cancer can develop quietly, without dramatic symptoms. That’s why the endoscopy, the biopsies of the growths discovered in my oesophagus and gut; plus the waiting felt so heavy, trying to not live in fear after my medical tests.

But today I received the relief I needed. Confirming no throat cancer, no dangerous changes to the cells and lining of my oesophagus. Benign. A big YAY!

I’m grateful for this outcome, the medical team and monitoring which allows silent problems to be caught early. Some people don’t know they even have throat cancer until it’s too late. 

I move forward with more awareness now not fear.  I’ll be placed into a NHS screening programme to monitor for any cell changes. I have huge gratitude for the future screenings, not as something to fear; but as vigilance, and I trust that Barrett’s never progresses into cancer.

Thanks to my mum and a tight close circle of friends who supported me during this journey. Knowing my good friends and neighbour had my back to look after my cat and me (if I needed help) when I went into the hospital was a blessing, as my immediate family don’t live locally.  I love you!  I’m also very grateful to my people leader at work who has been supportive and understanding when I was honest with him. It’s been a challenging period navigating work pressures on top of everything else.

Asking for help has never been my strong trait. This life chapter has shown me that sometimes being a strong independent woman is bullshit. Knowing when to ask and receive help is important, and to let trusted people in and be vulnerable. 

Conducting your own research is important and I’m thankful for the Upper GI medical team at the hospital giving me lots of additional information and support. Charities such as Guts UK, and Heartburn Cancer UK have helped me the past few months to educate myself to have my questions answered today by my surgeon. Thank you 🙏🏻 ❤️ .

If you are experiencing similar digestion issues or something feels off, or has changed, and it’s not improving, trust your intuition and see your GP.  Early detection can save lives and be treated. 

Links for support: 

OPA Cancer Charity: https://opa.org.uk/ for Oesophageal and Gastric support

Guts UK : https://gutscharity.org.uk/

Heartburn Cancer UK: Heartburn – Barrett’s – Oesophageal Cancer- Heartburn Cancer UK

If you’re going through a similar situation, waiting for medical test results or finally getting the clarity you need, I hope you get the answers to heal and move forward.  I just want you to know you’re not alone, listen to your body as it deserves to be heard.

With love, Suitcase Cally 🩷 ✨

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Posted in Body, childless, General, Health, Humanity, Inspiration, Mind, Recovery, Relationships, What's on my mind?, Wisdom

The loss of tiny footprints

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Footprints I lost

This week is World Childless Week held each year in September. “World Childless Week aims to raise awareness of the childless not by choice (cnbc) community and enable every childless person to share their story with confidence. It’s for anyone who is childless despite their longing to be a parent because they have never been pregnant (for any reason), not carried full term or have suffered the sadness of a baby born sleeping. World Childless Week is here to support those who have felt the heartbreak of knowing they will be childless for life.”

The loss of tiny footprints is my story.

“To the tiny footprints I wanted to birth; yet didn’t have a chance to hold, feel, touch, see and experience – I loved the idea of you.” – Carolyn

I attended an insightful session on miscarriage, pregnancy and baby loss at work a while back. They take Wellbeing seriously and offer so much support and many awareness sessions to all their people. During that session I grieved some more that I’m not a mum, despite the yearnings I had when I was married and even in later years after my divorce. I sat in that virtual meeting heartbroken with my camera off, choking and sobbing. Another layer out the blue triggered for releasing old grief buried in the ‘busyness’ of my role at work.

A question I’m often asked in my “corporate workplace” when people meet me for the first time, “do you have kids?” Then follows the awkwardness of do I bluntly say “no”, or fill the gaps of silence, change the subject and laugh it off? Masking my feelings of “not being a good enough female”, as I don’t fit the societal norm and expectations. Or do I offer an explanation depending on who they are to me in my circle of close personal friendships, and other relationships in and outside of the office? Questions I debate and overthink about in my head.

A topic that still hits a nerve as life had other plans. I’ve had to learn to forgive myself for not knowing better at the time when I was married, and later after my divorce recognising the grief when I miscarried twice in my next long term relationship. Insensitive comments from friends and others over the years such as “the clock is ticking”, “somethings wrong with you” or my favourite one “you’re so lucky not to have kids, I wish I was you!” Seriously what the fuck….I now understand the full meaning of whatever people think of me is none of my business.

I’d crossed the threshold of “female age” safety and due to various health issues of hormone imbalances and endometriosis, I was not able to carry a baby. Having an ablation after a distressing number of years of heavy ongoing periods, and then months of no periods certainly impacted my emotional, mental and physical wellbeing.

I was even stupid enough to still attempt a promotion panel days after my surgery coming out of hospital. My people-pleasing mask of “pretending everything is fine” backfired on me. In hindsight I wish I had been more vocal, asked for an extension and rearranged the panel interview with the partners, and directors. Wisdom to know the difference right? My health is important to me now, and experiencing several medical conditions and issues made me understand more about putting my self care first.

It’s taken time for my body to readjust and learn about middle aged female health, hormones and the havoc that can happen when they are out of kilter. Louise Hay and her work also helped me a lot to understand the emotional blockages I had carried within me for years which impacted my overall wellbeing. My body’s way of storing stress, trauma experiences I had survived and lived through; plus emotional energies had contributed to some of the cervical health issues and root chakra abnormalities I experienced. I still am an advocate for her work and the work of Dr. Gabor Maté . The body says no at times! Yet we can heal, recover again and write a different story. I still am on that healing path.

Like I always have with grief, I buried my feelings and cracked on with work, going out, living life, travelling and masking the pain of being a childless woman.

I love children and being around my friends’ kids, teens and their young adults has given me a small peak into the world of families. Yet there are days I’ve been out on a ‘selfie date’ as I call them, and I have to go home because the pain of seeing families out and about sometimes is overwhelming. All I ever wanted was a family of my own and a sense of belonging.

Allowing myself to release the tears and move forward has been a journey that hasn’t been easy. I won’t lie about it and say I’ve embraced childlessness. I’ve gradually learnt to accept my reality and being childless. It doesn’t define my worth or the love I have to offer.

Do I regret the years when I was married that we were never on the same page? Yes of course I do, but it’s not going to change anything as the timing was never right and there were times when we thought “yes let’s do it” but we were scared too at the thought of being parents. Plus, I had some hang ups too and they got in the way due to other ongoing family issues at the time I was going through with my dad. So yes this girl did have some ‘daddy issues’ she had to deal with in therapy and coaching and heal from. I reparented my inner child with the support of the best trauma therapists and psychologists in London and Cape Town and got to write a different story overcoming limiting beliefs and becoming a healthier and healed me.

Despite meeting a few men online after several years single it was time to test the waters. I ticked the criteria box on a few online dating apps that I was open to them having kids. Being real at my age and knowing that men too may have not had kids for whatever reasons was also another option I selected. One guy I met and dated was testing me to see would I consider adoption? With the right man possibly, but he wasn’t for me despite several dates as we got to know each other. We went our separate ways in my ‘social dating experiment’ to meet a new partner.

After hit and miss matching moments I’ve deleted the dating apps. I now trust that when the time is right I will meet someone who is either childless like me, or he has a child or children from a previous relationship. What’s most important is more than the kids it’s about the type of man I would like to attract as my future love and life partner.

As per laws of attraction and my higher power/higher self/God/universe, you know better than ‘me’, and I’m trusting that you are going to deliver the right man for me with or without children. It would be an awesome thing if we could ask the Universe for a delivery tracking number as he hasn’t shown up yet!

I’ve learnt so much more about myself now and the importance of loving myself first before we can offer our love to another person or to children. Yet I know there is no perfection; as we are meant to be in relation to others as the whole unique human beings we are!

Maybe that was why I had to go through some difficult life and relationship lessons, and experiences to address some of the unconscious beliefs I had held. Not believing I was worthy enough to be a mum, and that I wasn’t loveable; I had unconsciously sabotaged any chances of becoming a mother.

To my friends who kept me in the circle after my marriage and long term relationship ended – thank you and I love you. For the others who parted ways – I loved what we experienced and had through those life chapters.

Yet, I’m sorry too you thought I wasn’t good enough to be part of the couple and kids gang anymore. I desperately wanted what you had. It’s taught me a lot about relationships and friendships, letting go and I’ve found new friends who don’t judge me, or project their unconscious fears onto me. I also found my own worth and it’s not tied to any one person any more.

Talking to other people who’ve been in similar situations has helped a lot, as only by walking in each others shoes can we find compassion for ourselves and others to have a deeper understanding of the intricacies of life, love, birth and death.

To the tiny footprints I wanted to birth; yet didn’t have a chance to hold, feel, touch, see and experience – I loved the idea of you.

To anyone reading this you’re not alone, and may we all have the hearts to continue to love each other more and be kind to ourselves for being childless for whatever the reasons.

Some people stay, some people go, some people arrive, some people come back. Life is a continuous dance as we all are on a unique journey. If I meet you along the way I’ll enjoy and love the moments we create together.

Love Suitcase Cally

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Posted in travel

Secrets of False Bay

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

Another kak day of South African splendour – Cape of Good Hope, Cape Point, random ostriches popping out in the middle of the road, fynbos, Smitswinkel, and do not feed the baboons! 🤣🐒🙈 it was very windy 🌬

Cape Point is often very windy at the southern tip of South Africa in the Table Mountain National Park. Living close by I’d often go into the park for some peaceful reflection. So it’s no accident I had to go on this trip, and watch the crashing of waves along the coast and peer down a great drop of cliff face. Plus hearing the sounds of the wild sea around the tip of South Africa is a spectacular experience, with the gale force winds blowing too!

Cape Point

Driving along the coast from Smitswinkel Bay towards Simonstown there are baboon signs as warnings, as quite often they’ll be sitting in the middle of the road in their pack. There are lay-bys to pull over and people often have picnics not realising they risk their lives as the baboons come down from the mountain in search of food. If you do come across stay in the car and keep your distance and windows closed if they approach.

I used to work in Kommetjie and they would come into the clinic and waltz in through open doors and windows and cause havoc. They knew exactly where the kitchen was! We’d have to chase them out with the baboon whistle, or bang a pan with a wooden spoon and call the local baboon monitoring team to come help as they are protected species. Respectfully baboon and humans do live near each other, and knowing the boundaries is important as they are wild animals. As a former local we learnt not to feed the baboons or keep food out if you live in an area close to the mountainside and tribes.

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Posted in Creativity, Humanity, travel

From Malaysia to the Cape: the Bo-Kaap

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

The Bo-Kaap (“above the Cape” in Afrikaans) is an area in Cape Town formerly known as the Malay Quarter which is situated on the upper sidelines of Cape Town city centre hugging the slopes of Signal Hill.

With the backdrop of Table Mountain and brightly coloured homes and former cobbled stone streets, it’s an area rich in history and core of the Cape Malay culture in Cape Town. The Cape Malays are descendants of enslaved and free Muslims from different parts of the world who lived at the Cape during British and Dutch rule.

The bright colours of the homes are freshly painted and no one home can have the same colour as their neighbours is custom. You can have a different shade of blue, pink or green but not the same shade!

Initially Malays were from the Dutch colonies of South East Asia who were practising Muslims and scholars came to teach in the Bo-Kaap and bring their wisdom to the area.

Muslim temple

Due to the origins of the spice trade and links to Malaysia, India and other SE Asian countries, Cape Malay cooking is popular in South African cooking. The community played an important part in the creation of local dishes which are a favourite of many locals and expats living overseas today.

Cape Malay or Cape Dutch cooking utilises eastern spices including chilli peppers, nutmeg, starseed, coriander, and cinnamon to name a few influences by the slaves brought by the Dutch East India Company to the Cape and from the Dutch settlers from the Netherlands.

If you like curries, stews, sambals or picked fish you won’t be disappointed by the dishes on offer locally. A South African favourite I like to make is Bobotie a spicy mince meat baked dish with an egg based baked topping. Served with yellow rice both these dishes have Cape Malay origins. A dollop of Mrs Balls Chutney and friends are smiling sitting around the dinner table and you’re on fire!

Bobotie at home for my birthday with an African themed cake

If you want to find out more I highly recommend a walking tour or a visit to the local history museums. Zainie Misbach and her family offer ‘The Bo-Kaap Cooking Tour’ which is a great way to embrace and learn more about the Cape Malay traditions, and customs dating back to 400 years of food, culture and religious practices.

Whilst back to visit my former home and friends I decided to embrace the local community and met up with the local family who have been running cooking lessons and walking tours. I spent Saturday exploring the streets, visiting the local spice merchant Atlas Trading Company which has been around since 1946.

Of course I had to pick up my old favourite masalas which I frequently used when I lived in Cape Town: mother in law masala (hot spicy heat), father in law masala (low spicy heat) and the medium heat leaf masala. Top tip when grating fresh turmeric is to wear surgical gloves unless you wanted yellow stained fingers! Fresh curry leaves are used to make tea and have many health benefits including to lower cholesterol and high blood pressure with calming and relaxing side affects too. I know I’ll be looking out for them next time I visit my local Asian cooking supplier in Sussex.

We then headed over to Rose Street to learn how to make dhaltjies (chilli bites), samoosas, a traditional Cape Malay Chicken Curry and rooti. Afterwards we sat down and enjoyed a laden table of the dishes we had cooked together.

I highly recommend a visit to this rich area full of history and to explore an area where once a upon time homes were rented only; until apartheid restrictions were torn down and now local residents enjoy the freedoms their ancestors did not have.

The walking tour is fascinating and listening to Zayed and Zoelfah share the highlights of their family growing up in the area, the 12 noon gun salute shaking the homes and light fittings, and generations of stories make it a unique experience as a local or a visitor. The chatty and humorous family are full of joy and share openly about their community and tips to make Bo-Kaap soul food come to life.

Tossing rooti

The people are beautiful and I feel like I’m home again stepping back into moments and memories of my old life. Reconnecting with friends, the local people, the hum; it’s an energy that weaves through everything I find hard to describe. I’ve lived in other countries and travelled far, but Cape Town will always have a very special place in my heart. There’s something very special about the Mother City and the Bo-Kaap is one reason of many.

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Hanging out with my mates

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Follow @suitcasecally on Instagram

One of my happy places living in Cape Town was hanging out with the African Penguins in Simonstown. I’d walk amongst the coves and climb over the boulders with my dog TJ. Often penguins would waddle out from swimming in the sea and head back to huddling with their families.

I can spend hours watching them and they sometimes wander off from their nests and waddle around the local streets too; which is quite a comical sight and always gives me the giggles. If you visit the area make sure you check under your car before you drive off, as the summer heat may tempt them to take cover in a shady spot.

The local Boulders Beach Sanctuary is worth a visit to the centre to help support the preservation of these endangered species. The beach is secluded and to swim in the cool False Bay waters you’ll need to pay a conservation fee. If you have a South African ID book make sure you have it as there is a different fee for international visitors vs. local residents.

It’s been fantastic to hang out with them again this week, and I had the opportunity to swim at Boulders Beach and a few came to swim near me.

Before I head back to the northern hemisphere I know I’ll be back again for another day at the beach, tucked away in one of the many secret coves along this impressive wild coastline.

Conservation
Boulders Beach
Simonstown, Cape Town
Another day hustling
African penguins choose a mate for life 💗🐧💗
Picnic at Boulders Beach
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Posted in Fun, Humanity, Recovery, Relationships, travel, Wisdom

Mr Chillman Chimp

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

On Sunday en route to my holiday accommodation in Lulworth Cove I stopped at Monkey World; an Ape Rescue Centre in Wareham, Dorset. I was going with the flow on my road trip, stopping wherever took my fancy and had plenty of time before I checked in. Feeling free spirited and listening to Spotify tunes I was sensing the joy; as I let go thoughts of work and to do lists.

Having driven past the centre a few months earlier over Easter, I wanted to visit the next time I was in the area. The idea of an ape rescue centre intrigued my curiosity. I’m not one to visit zoos since I was a kid; as I have read and seen some horrific stories of animals abused for selfish pleasure and profit. Some zoos get it right and yet others don’t!

This rescue centre appealed to my heart, as the centre has helped many primates globally recover and rehabilitate in a safe and loving way in an environment that supports their healing. Much like humans who have experienced trauma, neglect or abuse this centre epitomises a wonderful story of how this rehab was intimately started in 1987, and you can read more on the Monkey World Ape Rescue Centre website, the legacy of Jim Cronin and his wife.

Follow Carolyn @suitcasecally on Instagram her book is to be published in 2025

Growing up in multiple countries, loving the diversity of animals and being an animal lover; I’m all for supporting the humane treatment and rights of all animals. There are plenty of animal lovers in the world who have helped protect different species and rescued animals from harmful practices where they were abused or mistreated, or lived in habitats that were cruel to their natural instinct and survival.

I wandered around in awe engaged with exploring the park and learning more about the life journeys of the rescued primates. The centre has been actively involved over the years to bring about change to UK law to stop the abuse and trade of monkeys as pets and primates.

I found observing these ‘new primate’ friends so fascinating in their home. I likened it quite simply as ‘connection’. Humans like apes, chimpanzees, and monkeys thrive in their tribe when loved, feeling safe, validated and connected. The primates I watched were clearly content and happy. As an empath or a sensitive person – I pick up on vibes even in animals.

“Right said Fred”

The chimps (and other primates) too use their faces to express messages with body postures, and gestures alike to human behaviours and connection in their social circles. It’s about body language and sensory awareness as the way we all communicate.

In particular, there were a group of chimps huddled together on one of the high wooden platforms in their enclosure. I had grabbed my camera from the car last minute, so I was guaranteed to capture some shots up close and personal with my zoom lens.

I was delighted to watch their facial expressions and poses, as I was in my own little world; in the present moment and fully engaged.

One particular chimp was clearly besotted with his mate as I watched him send flirtatious signals. Well what I imagined anyway – likening it to ‘courting’ couples, or meeting someone in your circle or network.

Intuitively you both know there’s a connection of some sort as you navigate the social rituals of becoming friends, and exploring other more ‘intimate’ possibilities over time (or not). I named this particular chimp, Mr Chillman! Likened to my preference for making friends and/or ‘courting’ with a mate – cheeky, interesting, calm, curious, funny and sexy!

Leaning in, Mr Chillman chimp caressed her cute chimp face and picked up her hand to examine it in great detail. Up close he proceeded to give her several kisses on her hairy face, and at times she turned her cheek away looking elsewhere, before turning her face back towards him.

I was chuckling to myself as I was thinking back to my own past relationships and getting to know someone; sometimes slowly, or sometimes quickly in other cases. LOL! Now I was really going into dreamscape as I was comparing these chimps’ behaviours with my past ‘major’ intimate love relationships.

Not one myself for online app dating I was thinking these chimps had it right. Be yourself, stay authentic, know your tribe and if it happens organically, great! You attract who you’re meant to meet!

These photos are some of my favourites, and if you’re in the Dorset area be sure to visit. I won’t say anything more as I’m rambling random thoughts after a windy and sunny day out at sea today.

Much love,

Suitcase Cally xxx

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Posted in Creativity, Humanity, Recovery, Relationships, travel

Twin flames and creativity

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

Wallaby dinner date

I read a long time ago we are destined to meet our twin flame on our love journey when we are in love with ourselves too. And by that I mean healthy love. A concept I learned along the way. Self care is so important for wellbeing and I had to learn to become friends with myself too.

There are three major loves we experience, young love, the love that gives the lessons, and the one we don’t see coming, true love or twinflame love. I liken it to twin flowers a journey of transformation that prepares us for the one.

Listening to music certainly raises my vibes and I feel happy listening to uplifting songs. Meaning and connection comes through music, sounds, sensations and dancing for me since I was a little girl. My family were big lovers of music as I listened to my parents’ records growing up as I played on my little SuitcaseCally recorder and baby guitar. Music fuels me as I’m a big fan of live concerts too and am looking forward to seeing one of my favourite bands next month followed by another favourite in July from my teen years!

My guitar has been a lifelong passion to learn and lessons are back on the table as I keep stopping for some reason. Progress not perfection!

Recently I explored this hesitation again through the ‘Artist’s Way’ by Julia Cameron’s three month course. I had started this artistic process in Cape Town years ago when I lived there and was working in a Addiction Counselling role. I loved what I created in Cape Town and moving back to London, back on the rat race wheel I forgot to do what I love as I got caught up in working, doing, and learning again. Mental!

This time around so much more was uncovered as I reclaimed creative parts of myself again I had buried, due to limiting beliefs strongly influenced by others projecting their beliefs and comparison to others on me.

A load of BS stories I had made up again. So I made a decision to start again where I am now, there’s no right or wrong way. For me ‘selfie artist dates’ are a norm now in my week. I love the ideas that come flowing through me when I’m in the present moment, and magic happens organically leading me to navigate my life more peacefully and feeling joy.

Attracting like minded friends and souls who have experienced similar experiences and challenges has been a blessing, and I know my twin flame flower is out there soon to be united as friends.

In the meantime I keep singing, moving forward and listening to my SuitcaseCally Twin flames playlist for some great music!

The SuitcaseCally photos below are taken on my ‘selfie artist date’ on Saturday 30 April 2022 enjoying the sculptures by South African artist Anton Smit at Leonardslee Gardens in West Sussex. Well worth a visit to embrace the beauty of nature and art connected in this wonderland tucked away.

Keep creating your best life! The time is now…

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Posted in Humanity, travel

Sticky koeksisters and lavender lemonade

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

As I looked into her eyes, I sensed a deep compassion and knew I had found a new friendship, which had started with an exchange of emails booking accommodation for a friend’s wedding. I was due to fly out of London to Cape Town and had been feeling the excitement for months since I’d received the wedding invite.

I was in contact with Karien, the co-owner of the family run Winterberg Mountain Inn in Wolseley. We had a few phone calls a number of months prior to my planned visit, and I sensed a genuine warmth in her voice over the crackly Wi-Fi mobile signal.

Having spent a week in my old home of Cape Town catching up with old friends, I had a feeling of excitement as I drove the romantic Cape Route 62 to Wolesley. A self-drive route through farming towns, vineyards, orchards, and the hairpin bends through the majestic mountains. There are plenty of opportunities to visit local farm stalls, wineries, or eat a sticky koeksister on the way.

Cape open roads

Driving in the heat of a 37C day it was a sense of relief to arrive at the inn tucked under the start of the Michell’s Pass/R46, 10km away from Ceres. Welcomed by the duty manager Laquita I settled into my room at the end of the terrace with old wooden floorboards, high ceilings and a huge bathroom. I felt a sense of home wash over me. 

Keen to find a drink I sat in the shade of the covered porch overlooking the lush green garden by the swimming pool. The flowers were in full bloom and I welcomed the serenity with the mountains staring back at me.

Serenity

Scanning the menu of old South African favourites; Cape Malay curries, malva pudding, homemade bread and corn fritters I was starting to feel hungry.

I asked the waiter chuckling ‘What’s the best drink?’ and Tiri responded smiling with a sparkle in his eyes, ‘The lavender lemonade. I make it myself.’

Served in a glass jar, a paper straw, sprigs of mint, lavender, and slices of lemon I felt fulfilled taking that thirst-quenching sip. Drinking in the oasis of blooming roses and purple flowers with the sparkling blue pool in view, I was so happy I had followed my gut instinct to find this gem.

The Harvest Table Bistro Restaurant at the inn is well known on this route and is popular for drinks, breakfast, lunch or dinner. Food is sourced locally and the menu has something for everyone. I enjoyed the simple, fresh home cooked flavours at every meal I had during my stay. The vetkoek with breakfast was mouthwatering!

Farmhouse breakfast with vetkoek

When I met the owner Karien and looked into her eyes I felt like I had known her before.  We had daily conversations during my stay, and the small decorative touches she weaved through the inn, home cooked food, and gentle ways her staff interacted with me, I knew this was a special close knit family. 

Nothing was too much trouble from offering to do my laundry even with drought water restrictions still in place, and on the day of the wedding Karien messaged me ‘do you need your dress ironing?’. It was these thoughtful gestures that counted.

Dressed up for love

Sharing wedding stories with the manager Laquita and Karien the following morning, it was time to say goodbye to this lovely family. 

Karien looked me in the eyes after we hugged saying ‘I feel like we always have known each other, and I hope you will be back soon.’ I felt that and left with a warm fuzzy feeling onwards to the game reserve for my safari adventure.

Sunset game drive

Back in London we exchanged a few emails and she responded with ‘You will always be remembered dearly by us all, Love Karien’.

Likewise Karien, your family inn, and the staff are forever in my heart for the excellent, welcoming and friendly service from the initial enquiries making my booking through to checking out and saying ‘totsiens vir nou’.

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Posted in Humanity, What's on my mind?

Yearning for home

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
My favourite beach in Cape Town

“Nostalgia – a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past.”

Layers uncovered I thought I had healed as I was triggered as mercury retrograde showed up today as waves of nostalgia hit me.

Sitting with the feelings I gave myself permission to release stored grief for memories of people over the years I hold close in my heart in a root chakra meditation. Tears triggered by a visit to a hospital appointment I had this morning.

The people who were there for me and me for them once upon a time. My tribe, my home and sense of security and belonging ripped away as I have been rebuilding and starting over – again. A recurring theme in my lifetime, moving countries searching for home and at times being the runner archetype in relationships when I feel my safety threatened.

Home is where the heart is and living overseas away from these memories and people has only made it harder for me to attempt to settle in a country that has still not delivered on the same feelings I experienced with my old tribe.

My living in the ‘past’ and what could have been has halted me moving forward some days it feels like. But that’s not completely true as I had new opportunities to grab and experience, and lessons to learn through growth and changing lanes. There were new people to meet – friends, coaches and mentors to show me a new path. I’ve met lovely people and they are kind to me. We get along, we laugh, we talk, we collaborate and make the effort to form relationships.

So why do I still want and chase a feeling that only exists in my memories and heart now from a time in the past? That nostalgic yearning hurts so deep some days. Perhaps it’s the parts of me that come alive when I’m thriving, living and loving fully that I miss.

It’s like I’m afraid to let people in sometimes now to the real me, as so many left me behind, or as I learnt I had a more vested interest to try and maintain relationships than they did that I had to let go. I’m learning to be more protective of who I give my energy to and who I allow to receive from. A very big lesson as I’ve learnt to trust my intuition more.

Yet my ego sometimes wants to block receiving love as a protection when I’m around certain energies and vibes of people. But it has the complete opposite affect of not feeling like I belong anywhere. And that’s not a cool feeling! In some ways travel restrictions have forced me to stay and not run away from myself and get on a plane at every opportunity I craved excitement or wanted to run away.

Is this the lesson of letting go and experiences of people I needed to face and grow as a person? The ones who come and go, the ones who stay, and the ones who show up temporarily to teach me something.

Whatever’s best for me is accepting what’s meant to have happened is the only way it could have happened in the way that it did. Yet I’m releasing tears as I miss those moments and the parts of myself that shone when I was around my tribe, and experiencing a feeling of belonging and being ‘at home in my self’. Someone once said to me I have to learn to be completely at home with me too and not attached to people or places. I felt that.

Faces I painted living in Cape Town

Having faith I find home again in me and with a new tribe I let go of all expectations and trust it will all work out. Those meant to be in my life will show up, some people stay and some may return. For now I embrace the unknown and settle into my internal home – me.

The poem by Safire Rose ‘Letting Go’ resonates with parts of me as I let go of the thoughts blocking me from my future.

‘She let go.

She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.

She let go of the fear.

She let go of the judgments.

She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head.

She let go of the committee of indecision within her.

She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons.

Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.

She didn’t ask anyone for advice.

She didn’t read a book on how to let go.

She didn’t search the scriptures.

She just let go.

She let go of all of the memories that held her back.

She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward.

She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.

She didn’t promise to let go.

She didn’t journal about it.

She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer.

She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper.

She just let go.

She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope.

She didn’t analyze whether she should let go.

She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter.

She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment.

She didn’t call the prayer line.

She didn’t utter one word.

She just let go.

No one was around when it happened.

There was no applause or congratulations.

No one thanked her or praised her.

No one noticed a thing.

Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.

There was no effort.

There was no struggle.

It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad.

It was what it was, and it is just that.

In the space of letting go, she let it all be.

A small smile came over her face.

A light breeze blew through her.

And the sun and the moon shone forevermore…’

-Safire Rose

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Posted in Humanity, Inspiration, Relationships, travel, What's on my mind?, Wisdom

Dear Human

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Reflections in Nature’s Valley, Garden Route, South Africa

Many lifetimes, many lessons and many places. Put me near water and I’m in my true essence of love and connection to our Mother Earth. Beaches, oceans, rivers, streams, lakes and waterfalls make my heart sing. Water connects me to my true higher self and my most intuitive reflections arise. I’ve often been called a water baby! What’s your true element?

As I reflect on 9/11 and remember what I was doing in the moments the news hit our trading floor in London and the traders called our back office. The hit to the heart and stomach I can still sense. Shock! Followed by crisis management in the global financial markets. An event much bigger than anyone was prepped for. Being called into my boss’s office as we got on the speaker phone to start our incident response with other leaders in the financial communities. The unknown in our faces, a tipping point we all got through that made me realise at the time what’s really important. Not money, not the next task – but people. The rest is just a bonus. The moments and days that unfolded as we all pulled together to support our friends and colleagues in New York is a time that is always etched in my heart and mind.

Today reminds me of all the stories that unfolded, and are still being revealed years later; that today is all that matters and who we love. Truth and love go hand in hand. May truth always reveal itself because that to me is loving despite it’s messiness at times. Nothing needs fixing, we are not broken.

I wanted to share these beautiful words of love by Courtney A. Walsh in memory of every family and person impacted by the events of 9/11. They were sent to me years ago and I often read them as a reminder – we are all love, we are one 🌍❤️.

“Dear Human: You’ve got it all wrong. You didn’t come here to master unconditional love. That is where you came from and where you’ll return. You came here to learn personal love. Universal love. Messy love. Sweaty love. Crazy love. Broken love. Whole love. Infused with divinity. Lived through the grace of stumbling. Demonstrated through the beauty of messing up. Often. You didn’t come here to be perfect. You already are. You came here to be gorgeously human. Flawed and fabulous. And then to rise again into remembering. But unconditional love? Stop telling that story. Love, in truth, doesn’t need any other adjectives. It doesn’t require modifiers. It doesn’t require the condition of perfection. It only asks that you show up. And do your best. That you stay present and feel fully. That you shine and fly and laugh and cry and hurt and heal and fall and get back up and play and work and live and die as YOU. It’s enough. It’s Plenty.” – Courtney A. Walsh

There is only today. Have a beautiful love filled day!

With love SuitCaseCally 💜

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Posted in Humanity, Quotes, Relationships, What's on my mind?, Wisdom

“Letting go wisdom” from Anthony Hopkins

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Internal peace is a great feeling – art sculpture photo taken from a favourite artist in Hout Bay, Cape Town

Lessons from the past 18 months have shown me the true colours of people and highlighted where I needed to grow and change from outdated relationships-season, reason or lifetime? We adapt, we learn, we grow, and let go for the new. Some stay, some go, and some new people arrive who are my tribe of feel good vibes. There is no race as we all adapt and grow at different paces. These words I stumbled across and it really resonated with me to what I have been randomly feeling and thinking yet had no intention of trying to articulate into meaningful written words.

‘‘Let go of people who aren’t ready to love you yet! This is the hardest thing you’ll have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing: stop giving your love to those who aren’t ready to love you yet.
Stop hard conversations with people who don’t want to change.
Stop showing up for people who are indifferent to your presence.
Stop loving people who aren’t ready to love you.

Let the light in

I know your instincts do everything to win the good mercy of everyone around you, but it’s also the impulse that will steal your time, energy and mental, physical and spiritual health.

When you start manifesting yourself in your life, completely, with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to find you in this place of pure sincerity.

That doesn’t mean that you have to change who you are. That means you have to stop loving people who don’t want to love you yet.
When you are excluded, subtly offended, forgotten or easily ignored by people you give time to, you don’t do yourself any favour by allowing them your energy and your life.
The truth is that you’re not for everyone…
And that not everyone is for you…
That makes this world so special, when you find the few people you have friendship, love or a true relationship with…

You will know how valuable that is…
Because you have experienced what isn’t…
But the more time you spend trying to make you loved by someone who cant…
The more time you waste depriving the same connection…

There are billions of people on this planet, and many of them will end up with you, on their level, with their vibration, from where they stand…

But…
The smaller you stay, involved in the privacy of people who use you as a pillow, background option, a therapist and a strategy for their emotional healing…
More time you stay out of the community you wish for.
If you stop showing up, you might be less wanted…
If you stop trying, the relationship might stop…
If you stop texting, your phone stays dark for days and weeks…
Maybe if you stop loving someone, the love between you will dissolve…
That doesn’t mean you ruined a relationship!
That means all this relationship had was the energy that only you and you hire to keep it in the air.

It’s not love.
That’s attachment.
That’s wanting to give a chance to those who don’t want it!

The most valuable and most important thing you have in your life is your energy.
Its not just your time because it’s limited…
It’s your energy!
What you give every day is what will become more and more in your life.
It’s the ones you give time and energy that will define your existence.

When you realize this, you start to understand why you are so impatient when you spend your time with people that don’t suit you, and in activities, places, situations that don’t suit you.

You’re starting to realize that the most important thing you can do for your life, for yourself and for everyone you know, protect your energy stronger than anything.

Turn your life into a safe sanctuary where only ” compatible ” people with you are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving people.
You are not responsible to convince them to be saved.

It’s not your job to exist for people and give them your life, little by little, moment after the moment!

Because if you feel bad or if you feel obliged; you are the root of all of this by your insisting, afraid they promise you the favors you won’t give them…

It’s your only fact to realize that you are the loved one of your destiny and to accept the love you think you deserve.

Decide you deserve a true friendship.

Wait then… just a minute…
And look how everything is starting to change…”

Link to Thought Catalogue original article: https://thoughtcatalog.com/brianna-wiest/

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Posted in Humanity, What's on my mind?

Free people

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

Never in my lifetime would I imagine our individual and collective freedoms would be so under threat than what I have witnessed the past 18 months. The latest divide and conquer strategy is no longer working and it’s time to question everything, go deep into ourselves and truly ask ourselves what mattters.

I stumbled across this inspiring speech by Charlie Chaplin who performed in and directed the 1940’s satire comedy movie The Great Dictator. The themes seem to repeat through history and have been evident globally in the last year.

YouTube video

The Great Dictator Speech

Having spent many years living overseas in a number of countries and witnessing division due to religion, race and sex; I’ve learnt a lot of this division has not been created by my fellow citizens but by society and organisations I have no control over.

Yet when I witness our freedoms being taken away in what I imagined a Western democracy; a fire is burning within me that says NO this is not right, not fair, not just and not humane as a woman, citizen of the land and for all of us regardless of what these old societal structures attempt to dictate. My world view has been turned inside out and upside down as I’ve learnt more about lifetime deceptions. It’s a time to question everything and not always believe what is being presented.

This speech by Charlie Chaplin expresses so much of what I have been thinking and feeling the past year. Together humanity needs to unite, stop the division and come together for our common purposes including freedom. Everything is an illusion right now and my wish is we see through the veils and stand in our unique powerful sovereignty as individuals and collectively.

The transcript is below to read:

“I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be an Emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone.

I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black men, white. We all want to help one another. Human beings are like that. We want to live by each other’s happiness, not by each other’s misery.

We don’t want to hate and despise one another. In this world, there is room for everyone, and the good Earth is rich and can provide for everyone. The way of life can be free and beautiful, but we have lost the way.

Greed has poisoned men’s souls; has barricaded the world with hate; has goose-stepped us into misery and bloodshed. We have developed speed, but we have shut ourselves in. Machinery that gives abundance has left us in want.

Our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind. We think too much and feel too little.

More than machinery we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. The aeroplane and the radio have brought us closer together. The very nature of these inventions cries out for the goodness in man; cries out for universal brotherhood; for the unity of us all.

Even now my voice is reaching millions throughout the world, millions of despairing men, women, and little children, victims of a system that makes men torture and imprison innocent people. To those who can hear me, I say ‘Do not despair.’ The misery that is now upon us is but the passing of greed, the bitterness of men who fear the way of human progress. The hate of men will pass, and dictators die, and the power they took from the people will return to the people. And so long as men die, liberty will never perish.

Soldiers! Don’t give yourselves to brutes, men who despise you and enslave you; who regiment your lives, tell you what to do, what to think and what to feel! Who drill you, treat you like cattle, use you as cannon fodder! Don’t give yourselves to these unnatural men – machine men with machine minds and machine hearts! You are not machines! You are not cattle! You Are Men!

You have a love of humanity in your hearts! You don’t hate! Only the unloved hate; the unloved and the unnatural.

Soldiers! Don’t fight for slavery! Fight for liberty! In the seventeenth chapter of St. Luke, it’s written ‘the kingdom of God is within man,’ not one man or a group of men, but in all men! In you! You, the people, have the power, the power to create machines, the power to create happiness! 

You, the people, have the power to make this life free and beautiful, to make this life a wonderful adventure. Then in the name of democracy, let us use that power. Let us all unite. Let us fight for a new world, a decent world that will give men a chance to work, that will give youth a future and old age a security. 

By the promise of these things, brutes have risen to power. But they lie! They do not fulfill their promise. They never will! Dictators free themselves but they enslave the people! Now let us fight to fulfill that promise! 

Let us fight to free the world! To do away with national barriers! To do away with greed, with hate and intolerance! Let us fight for a world of reason, a world where science and progress will lead to all men’s happiness. Soldiers, in the name of democracy, let us all unite!”

Stay well and let’s looks out for each other.

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Posted in travel

Innocence

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Love matters

Years ago I was sent an email and it was one I kept as it warmed my heart when I was going through a challenging period of healing from grief and loss.

I don’t know who the original author is as I would give credit to them.

Kids often know the meaning of the word “love” better than adults.

“What Love means to a 4-8 year old…”

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds :

‘What does love mean?’

The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’

Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’

Terri – age 4

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.’

Emily – age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow!)

‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.’

Nikka – age 6

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’

Noelle – age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’

Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’

Cindy – age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’

Clare – age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’

Elaine-age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’

Chris – age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’

Mary Ann – age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’

Lauren – age 4

‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’

Karen – age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’

Mark – age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’

Jessica – age 8

And the final one…

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. Whenever his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry.’

Keep the love vibrations flowing and return to innocence on those days when we are challenged ❤️.

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Posted in Inspiration, Poems

If This Time

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
A poem of hope

A dear friend of mine shared this beautiful video, and prose with me as we turned the pages into the New Year of 2021.

Kevin McCormack’s inspiring words of hope during this pandemic crisis the world is facing, touched my heart and soul as a reminder of what really matters. I won’t lie and say that it has been a bed of roses, as we all have been affected in some way. My own frustrations of missing a ‘normal’ life of social interaction, as I watched in horror the chaos unfold was something I never imagined in my life time.

The hysteria surrounding us externally in the media, our own lives, the lives of loved ones, families and friends, and the impact to all of humanity and societies globally reminded me to come back to self and nature where the answers lie. I had to find a sense of calm and dig deep some days, as I was searching for answers with conflicting medical opinions as media censorship was evident when medical truth seekers and warriors of light were sharing alternate views against the narrative. A red flag for me having lived in countries growing up where censorship was real. My buttons have been pushed as I don’t like being told what to do, and treated as a threat every time I go out in public to get ‘essentials’. In my little world view everything has been challenged. The past year has proven that everything is an illusion. It’s like being part of a movie set some days.

Taking back what I can control is in my power as a sovereign human being, and letting go what is out of my control by taking the next step, staying present and be ‘in presence’ to those around us certainly helps in some small way. The answers come when we give ourselves permission to pause, reflect and breathe in this moment – it’s all we have – this moment ‘in this time’. This video and the words offered me hope and a reminder to take stock. I am forever grateful to everyone who has been of service, and the gestures of kindness I have experienced and witnessed from family, friends and even strangers.

Today is all that matters and what I do with it. This is the time to take advantage of the winter UK lockdown – go within, continue to be a truth seeker, be of service and love others, and reflect. I may not like lockdown or agree with it – yet accepting where I am, and what I can do during this time to be appreciative of everything I do have, and this beautiful home we call Mother Earth.

My vision for all of us wherever we are in the world is that we come out of this crisis with grace, more kindness, tolerance and compassion for everyone. We will need each other to rebuild our lives and communities.

And a daily reminder I give myself is to keep the faith and chase those dreams. They are waiting. This too shall pass.

With love, Suitcase Cally

The poem: Copyright © Kevin McCormack – If This Time

“If this time has taught me anything, it is that the tiny speck in this universe that we occupy, is both wonderful and wondrous, and if we allow it to, the beauty around us can unlock the beauty within us; and teach us far more than our schooling ever did. 

If this time has taught me anything, it is that success and how we measure it, needs to be redefined, and that the only person to whom you should ever compare yourself, is who you were yesterday. 
Make your growth game strong, and along the way be kind to yourself – if you are doing your best then you are doing enough. 


If this time has taught me anything, it is that it is more important now than ever before, to see the world through your own eyes, begin by looking at yourself – look honestly and look gently. Look inward with compassion and kindness and look outward with humility and appreciation. 

If this time has taught me anything, it is that the opposite of love is not hate, but fear – and our greatest fear is losing that to which we have become attached.

Yesterday is heavy put it down. Seeing the beauty in the world around you Is the first step in purifying the clearing the mind, and If this time has taught me anything, it is that nature unlike us, never apologises for her beauty. 

If this time has taught me anything, it is that life really is about the journey, not the destination. And it must be, for surely, we are not here to reach the destination, for the destination is death. Be alive for after all, life is all you’ve got, and when you pay attention to the things for which you are grateful, you soon forget about what you think you’re missing. 

If this time has taught me anything, it is that bitter tears are the quietest, and on the days when your head wants to hang low, it is important that you look up. Lift your head. Take it in, and breathe deep, for while this world can sometimes be a hard place, your reality and what you perceive it to be, are seldom aligned. 

If this time has taught me anything, is that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. We can see universes within universes, but only when we pay enough attention, and this is as true as the nature within us, as it is of the nature around us. 

If this time has taught me anything it is this:
If true love conquers everything, then self-love gives it the fortitude to do so. Know that you are more than your scars – know that every wound in you has healed along the way has taught you what it is to fight back; and to start again from where you are, with what you’ve got. Beat your own pathway, without seeking the approval of others and know that self-love is not vanity. 

If this time has taught me anything, it is this: 
HOPE matters and we cannot live without it. This time has taught me that HOPE is not a wish, nor a desire for things to be different. It is a course of action, a combination of mind and heart. 
The future can be better and can be brighter, and we each have the power within us to make it so. 
There will be challenges to face along the way, to which there are many solutions. There is a source of resilience deep within us all.

If this time does not teach us, that time itself is precious, then will have missed the lesson. 
The lesson that never before have the past and the future been so irrelevant, and that the quest to “find ourselves” has been fruitless till now; only because we have been searching in all the wrong places. 
We are here, we are now. We are each and every breath we take. 
Every day is a gift – a gift to begin again, and to grasp with both hands, the fresh opportunity to learn, unlearn and relearn. 

If this time is not wasted. “

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Posted in travel

J’aime la Côte d’Azur

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Antibes

The bright blue colours of contrast to the sky and what I liken to shades of lapis lazuli is the appeal of the crystal sea waters I’m so drawn too every time I visit the southern coastline of France.

I’m often asked what brings you here that you keep going back? The familiarity of the coast I liken to growing up in Perth and living in Cape Town. It’s the familiarity of the sea, the laidback cultural cafe lifestyle enriched with hills hugging the coastline as a backdrop into nature’s playground. Coastal water sports and marinas full of yachts baiting me to play at sea.

Marina Port Vauban, Antibes

Fresh food produce markets to live a simple, nourishing and lifestyle full of flavours and soul food are a way of life. Shopping daily and locally for what I needed was so satisfying and in the moment compared to supermarkets back home.

Fresh market food

Food is made with love from the fresh baguettes, tarts and pastries at the boulangerie to the bright red, gigantic, wonky looking tomatoes ripe and bursting with sunshine flavour. A flavour that only sun can create freshly picked paired with a good French cheese.

Tomato russe
Le marché provençal d’Antibes

If you fancy a dabble at learning how to make croissants it’s worth finding a local pastry chef. I spent a delightful afternoon after a morning at the beach, rolling layers of pastry and butter to make these yummy delicacies. Croissants are a labour of love and there’s something very soothing and trancelike rolling layers of pastry. Thrilled with my pastry workshop learning I now knew how to make croissants and pain au chocolat pastries 🥐 🇫🇷💓!

I spent many hours exploring the cobbled streets and back alleys of the old town and I fell in love with Antibes a little more with each step and discovery. My curiosity took me to little nooks and crannies tucked away from the main square and centre. I was fascinated by the buildings, architecture and quaint French decor fuelling my creativity and topping up my mind with future ideas that I could use as inspiration for my next creative project.

Old town architecture

Cafes and restaurants are abundant and what better way to sip on an Aperol Spritz after a day swimming, sunbathing and exploring. My favourite thing is to watch people walking by, chatting, laughing and enjoying themselves.

I’ll be back soon 🇫🇷💜🇫🇷
with love SuitCase Cally
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Posted in travel

Chipping Campden – Boutique Bliss

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

Leaving behind Stratford-upon-Avon I headed south towards Chipping Campden where I was booked to stay overnight on my Cotswolds adventure.

Pleasantly surprised Google Maps was spot on and I arrived within half hour in time to catch the late afternoon sunshine and stretch my legs.

This old market town dates back to the 7th century and is one of the least spoilt towns. It’s a town of great wealth gained from the agricultural trade of sheep and wool and the Arts and Crafts movement of the early 1900’s. It was also famous across Europe for its wool trade.

I stayed in The Kings Hotel, a small boutique townhouse hotel which is right in the centre of this market town. This hotel was chic, comfortable and a great base to explore the town by foot. The hotel dates back to the 16th century and was previously a coaching inn and a private house.

The Kings Hotel, Chipping Campden

The decor is charming, plush and pleasing to the eye with its mix of history and modern touches. Open fireplaces, stone floors and beamed ceilings give this gem its character, coupled with some great old pieces of furniture dotted about. It’s a great venue for small weddings and the event manager was very keen. She showed me around the hotel and the possibilities of how a couple can use the space and decor to their advantage! I was super impressed with the hospitality I was given; including the homemade birthday fudge courtesy of the hotel which was waiting in my room when I checked in!

It’s all about details! Yum

As I turned out to the left of the hotel entrance the old market was ahead of me. This building was the original market where trade took place. The town square opposite the hotel also held a monthly sheep market until 1935 and apparently the smell was so overbearing the owner of the house (now the hotel) moved away!

The Market Hall – built in the 17th century

I spent the afternoon walking around the village and exploring the meandering High Street that was full of sunshine hugging the honey coloured townhouses and cottages.

Honey Cotswold stone buildings on the High Street

Small independent run boutiques, cafes, and artisan home stores make this a worthwhile stop to meander and have a bite to eat in one of the hotels, cafes or a traditional cuppa tea and scone!

Inviting store fronts

St James Church

After several hours of walking the back streets I headed back to the high street in search of afternoon tea. Spoilt for choice I was drawn to a small tea shop opposite the old Market Hall.

Afternoon tea – the great British tradition

For the love of fonts

My overall review can be summarised as ‘Boutique Bliss’!

I loved being in the centre in walking distance of the local places to visit, independent shops and cafes. The hotel is chic and charming. A very comfortable stay and I had a lovely birthday surprise in my room waiting for me. Stunning decor and great friendly staff. The food was excellent and a lot of attention to detail in the presentation. Highly recommend for a short stay if travelling through the Cotswolds.

Leaving behind Chipping Campden the following morning I continued travelling south to find off the beaten track Cotswolds villages.

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Posted in travel

Happy ‘Straya’ Day

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

A day to celebrate the country and communities of Australia.

I recently returned back to Perth where I grew up after 12 years being away to attend my high school reunion and catch up with my friends. Perth is the best place in the world I have lived so far for the lifestyle it offers.

So many great memories forever in my heart until my next visit.

Happy Australia Day to everyone who loves Australia around the world, and to my friends who live there!

Perth skyline from Kings Park

Lucky me to catch this piccy

Watch out for the bandicoots

A secluded spot cycling around Rottnest Island

Stunning scenery on my bike ride

Rotto lighthouse

Trigg Beach

Hug a koala

My old hood near Marmion

Too cute

Quokkas are so tame and curious

Quotes cover the wall in one of the cafes at Sorrento Marina

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Posted in What's on my mind?

With love from Malta

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

Escaping the leftovers and festivities of Christmas it was a wonderful feeling to hop on a plane to start 2019 with a trip to Malta.

Having never been before, we were excited to explore this gem three hours away from London. Malta is nestled between the island of Sicily (below the southern tip of Italy) and the North African Coast (north east of Tunisia).

Flying on New Years Day has its benefits; as a tip – it’s generally cheaper and usually quieter. However, our flight was full as we caught the early morning flight to Valletta. A plane change caused some seat dramas with other passengers and lucky us ended up getting the best seating plan as we just let it all unfold.

Malta surprisingly for such a small island is densely populated, full of history and character. The Maltese people are easygoing, laidback and friendly. It was easy to relax and have chats with locals pretty much everywhere. After living in the ‘tight upper lip country’ it’s always noticeable when I travel how open a culture is to engage with strangers. I felt welcome in Malta and safe. A hangover ‘six sense survival’ skill always kicks in from growing up in Iran and Africa when I travel. I’m very sensitive to energies and I felt protected here.

Not one for staying in touristy popular places; AirBnb once again had delivered a real quaint and traditional Maltese village, Qrendi.

Qrendi- centuries old stone buildings set the scene

The locals in this village are particularly friendly and the hospitality was welcoming. Being just after New Year one night we had difficulty finding somewhere local open to eat. A local bistro and wine bar, Il-Grokk were celebrating with staff and we joined them for their meal; despite not being open. Chatting to the owner we discovered many synchronicities that makes travelling and meeting people fun with unexpected moments of not knowing what’s going to happen next.

Conversations around psytrance, Cape Town, DJs, trance parties and travels made this night a night to remember with our new local DJ friend. He had just returned from playing in the clubs of Cape Town! A place we know best-our former home city.

Love this library

To get around, we hired a very small car to navigate the tiny streets and alleyways. There were many hair raising twists and moments when we breathed in going through some very narrow and tight alleys. We thought English country lanes are challenging! Not a chance. Driving is a bit chaotic and we adapted and just drove with caution as we had our insurance excess to think about! It’s the best way to see the sites and explore little villages along the coastline.

A day trip to Valletta is worth a visit and we caught the bus from the village square. All buses and routes go into the central bus station and it’s easy to go anywhere if you have the time. A bus from Qrendi takes about half hour and costs a few euros.

Typical street in Valletta

Valletta is full of history and the best way to explore is to walk the cobbled streets and admire the architecture and old walls of the city. There’s plenty of sites to see and make sure you’re wearing a comfy pair of walking shoes.

Stopping at plenty of cafes for a quick coffee; we were spoilt for choice to get a hot drink as we had a chilly biting winter breeze to make friends with.

The church lit up outside Papa’s Cafe in Siggiewi at St Nicholas Statue square

The weather was sunny and we wrapped up warm as Malta had an unexpected cold snap, which the locals had all commented on how unusual it was. We didn’t mind as the skies back home were grey and it was a welcome sight to see bright blue skies again with the odd white cloud.

Souvenirs

A must do is to catch the ferry across to Sliema from the ferry jetty in Valletta. It’s a great way to experience the full scale of the city and a shortcut across to the bays and inlets.

Approaching Sliema

A favourite spot; Marsaxlokk is a small fishing village on the south east side below the capital. Every day there is a market and Sunday is the weekly fish market.

Maltese lace love hearts, pastries and fridge magnets at the harbour market

The harbour is full of colourful painted fishing boats known as ‘luzzu‘. Each boat has the Eye of Horus thought to offer the fishermen protection when they go out to sea.

Bright and colourful fishing boats

Walking the length of the harbour is peaceful and there are plenty of fish restaurants and cafes all competing for your euros for a bite to eat. The fish is freshly caught and there are chalkboards advertising ‘fresh fish caught by my husband’. Servings are generous all over Malta and it’s custom to serve a smorgasbord of artisan Maltese breads or bruschetta, olives, dips and local hummus. No need to order starters!

If you like the influences of Italy and Mediterranean cuisine you’ll be spoilt for choice with fresh and local menus. We ate locally every day wherever we were to really experience the freshness of food on offer.

Fresh fish for lunch

The ancient temples of Hagar Qim and Mnajdra are worth a visit. These temples are believed to be older than Stonehenge and even the Pyramids. As with all these hot spots be prepared for small crowds and a dose of patience.

Crystal ball photo of temples

After exploring temples a drink was needed. I was pleasantly surprised to have a long chat with the elderly local cafe temple van man who sold me a Kinnie – an orange flavoured herb fizzy drink. It’s a local soft drink that tasted like bitters. He had all the time in the world and was amused I was up for a Kinnie as I listened to his weather wisdom. Like the Brits – the weather is a favourite topic to talk about it!

The local cool drink – Kinnie

After five days of exploring it was time to fly home. Next time the weather will be warmer and a trip to the Blue Grotto by boat will be on the cards, and some beach time on the golden sands of coves tucked away all round this island.

With love from Malta!

Sunset Blue Grotto

Posted in Fun, Inspiration, travel

No Travel Buddy? No Problem! 7 Solo Travel Tips for first timers

Posted on by Suitcase Cally

I remember a time I flew by myself from Johannesburg to Perth when I was 19 years old. I overpacked and my parents had to take a suitcase back home. My dad was fuming at the thought he was going to be charged a luggage overweight penalty of R1000 for my magazines, books and music collection! Crying, my mom and dad helped me sort out my packing at the check-in desk. I was mortified, as I somehow thought I needed to take my favourite possessions with me! I slept on a chair in Harare airport in a long layover back then as there were no direct flights due to travel embargoes. I was taken to lunch by an airport porter for passengers in limbo to the in-transit restaurant. A white linen tablecloth covered the table, as I sat with other passengers. We were greeted by a local Zimbabwean with a great beaming smile as our waiter served a chicken type lunch. It was the beginning of many solo trips. I was also fortunate to travel with friends and partners I had over the years, and have had many great experiences globally.

Lately I have been taking solo trips as a singleton again, and so many of my friends over the years say to me “How do you do it? I couldn’t do that!” Well firstly it takes a big dose of courage as there are some places or events or friends I really want to see. Secondly it requires practice! I say that tongue in cheek and embarking on a journey alone can be both exhilarating and nerve-wracking. Solo travel offers a unique opportunity to discover new places, meet interesting people, and ultimately, discover your own true self.

Planning a solo bucket list trip can be daunting if you’re wanting to follow your desires yet there’s some angst. This blog post is to help ease your concerns and provide guidance on making your first solo adventure a success.

  1. Choose the right destination for you: Before setting off on your solo adventure, carefully select a destination that aligns with your interests and comfort level. Opt for places known for their friendly locals, safety record, and ease of navigation. Research destinations that cater to solo travellers, with plenty of social activities, suitable accommodation that you want to stay in, and a vibrant community scene if you’re wanting a blend of fun and chill out time. This gives you some opportunities to chat to people and sometimes you may meet other fellow travellers. My own experience travelling solo is couples and families tend to stick to themselves. It can be lonely at times and this has taught me to become more comfortable being by myself with my own company.
  2. Plan, but leave room for spontaneity: While it’s essential to plan your trip in advance, leave space for spontaneous adventures. Prepare a loose itinerary with must-see attractions, local experiences, and any necessary bookings or reservations. But also embrace the freedom to change your plans, follow the recommendations of fellow travellers or locals you meet, and seize unexpected opportunities that arise. One of the things I like to do is look at local attractions on the AirBnb app. I booked a pastry making course in Antibes and learnt to make croissants with a local French pastry chef. It was held in her home and I had a one to one lesson and great conversation as we learnt about each others lives. It was a chance to practice French and English for both of us!
  3. Pack light and smart: Travelling solo means you’re responsible for handling your luggage all by yourself. Pack light, bringing only the essentials. Aim for a versatile wardrobe based on the climate and culture of your destination. Don’t forget to research the local customs and dress code, ensuring you respect their traditions. This is particularly so when I’ve travelled to Middle Eastern cultures and being mindful. Do your research! Additionally, invest in a reliable anti-theft backpack to keep your belongings secure. Not my greatest tip for me, as I still overpack sometimes as I have been caught out with lost luggage too several times! I’ve got better at this one! Most places have shops so be prepared to buy clothes if needed and leave the heavy stuff behind at home. Not easy during winter though with jackets and jumpers.
  4. Stay connected and safe: Inform your loved ones about your travel plans, share your itinerary, and keep them updated regularly. Stay connected through international SIM cards, Wi-Fi, or local SIM cards upon arrival. Familiarise yourself with local emergency numbers and download apps like city guides, translators, or those specifically designed for solo travellers.
  5. Adopt a positive attitude and stay open-minded: One of the joys of solo travel is immersing yourself in new cultures, connecting with locals, and embracing unexpected encounters. Approach each interaction with an open mind, be respectful of local customs and traditions, and engage in meaningful conversations. Embrace the opportunity to step out of your comfort zone, challenge your limits, and to grow personally. Most people are friendly and if they hear you have an accent that’s always a great conversation opener in my experience as people are naturally curious.
  6. Connect with other travellers or not: Although solo travel allows for independence, joining organised tours can present fantastic opportunities to meet like-minded individuals. If you feel like it join group activities, or local tours, or participate in organised adventure trips. Engaging with other travellers not only provides companionship but also enhances your travel experience by gaining valuable insights and creating new friendships. I made a new friend from Japan on one of my trips back to Perth cuddling koalas at Cohunu Koala Park. We still message each other now and then knowing the door is open if we visit each other’s countries in future. Again this is a very personal experience and sometimes I may do a hybrid tour and select parts of it and abort the rest. Go with whatever works for you!
  7. Stay mindful and trust your instincts: Solo travel can be empowering and liberating, but it’s crucial to stay vigilant and trust your instincts. Pay attention to what’s around you if you are not sure where you are. Act confidently, avoid displaying your valuables, and never hesitate to seek assistance from trusted sources like hotels, tourist offices, or police personnel. It’s important to trust your instinct and stay close to people if you feel nervous or unsafe.

Solo travel can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your life, offering profound personal growth, self-discovery, and lasting memories. By choosing the right destination, planning ahead, staying connected, and embracing the opportunities that come your way, you’ll be well on your way to enjoying the limitless possibilities of travelling by yourself.

So pack your bags, put on your brave face, and get ready to embark on a journey of a lifetime! Book that bucket list trip!

Posted in Creativity, Humanity, Inspiration, Recovery, Relationships, travel, What's on my mind?, Wisdom

Divine Feminine: “These are the Women”

Posted on by Suitcase Cally
Photo credit: @suitcasecally I took this photo in my old home town near the clinic I used to work at in Cape Town. If you’re ever heading out from Misty Cliffs and Scarborough area be sure to visit the open African Art studio nestled under the trees next door to Gina’s African Art Shop on the M65 Redhill Road

A few years ago I started to research, learn, understand and explore divine feminine and masculine energies. Terms I hadn’t really considered or given much thought to on my own healing journey and in my work as a former counsellor.

It wasn’t until looked back that I started to make the connections along the way and why certain people, things and places had to change. I became more aware of getting to know myself, and peeling away layers of old patterns, beliefs and challenging myself to step out of my shell. It’s still an ongoing journey and understanding energies has heightened my awareness around me when I meet people along the path who have been my inspiration and teachers or mentors. Like attracts like, and not chasing or trying to fix or control anymore has been liberating. Trusting more in myself and my intuition to guide me is still work in progress.

We are one – embracing both feminine and masculine energies. Yet we can be too dominant either way and being able to flex and shift ourselves requires a deeper awareness of energies, thoughts, emotions and behaviours. As a former mentor once shared Shakespeare’s quote with me “to thine own self be true”!

These words written by Sophie Bashford resonated with me as she describes beautifully what it’s like to be bold and courageous, share wisdom and walk a path off the beaten track.

THESE ARE THE WOMEN

“Women who are called into divine feminine service – that of raising the collective feminine spiritual vibration quotient on this planet – are not shrinking violets.

These women – who no doubt possess an ocean of the purest unconditional love and compassion at their conjoined Hearts – must be strong, bold and wise enough to make waves wherever they are sent.

These women are the Ones who walk into old paradigms and shake them up at their core.

These women are the Ones who have heard the Call of the Mountains, of the Sea, and of the Stars and Wind, and are doing something about it.

They are compassionate enough to have heard the desperate cries of those who need their Light. They are brave enough to move out of their own self-deprecation and self-doubt, and move into communities that require a sensitive, wise, age-old and intuitive voice to lead them back to sanity.

These women are not ‘nice’. They are not compliant. They are not people-pleasers. They do not seek approval from every ego that crosses their path. They do not adhere to the embedded morality and restrictions related to ‘what good girls do’.

They are not ‘good girls’. They are not ‘bad girls’ either. They refuse to be put into boxes because they have chosen to release and liberate their Spirits.

If they only lived to seek approval from others then they would be agreeing to the status quo as it is right now in this world.

Finally.

These courageous, pioneering females have appetites for life, for love, for sex, for food, for men, for women, for the earth, for the Light.

They have appetites for power, and they are greedy for personal and spiritual expansion.

When you control a woman’s appetite for anything, you make it easier to control her.

These women were never, ever destined to be controlled. They have been given very specific roles by the Goddess to go into achingly-old and crumbling patriarchal paradigms, and break them up.

They have been selected to charge into places that are stuck, dead, overgrown with weeds, blocked and numb. They bring with them their overarching Higher Wisdom and carefully-honed skills of healing.

They know, deep inside, that the people and places that they are sent to are designed to be broken open, broken down, broken through.

This is not an easy task because it demands total courage and conviction of the Self.

It demands total Wholeness, Self-Realisation, Commitment to Truth, Unwavering Faith and Devotion to the Greater Good.

It demands Vision and Foresight.

It demands staying centred in the eye of the storm.

It demands all their inner resources to create frequency changes, stir up the emotional and spiritual waters, expose secrets and lies, confront denials and plant the seeds of extreme and radical transformation.

When these Women are called in, changes start.

All that has been repressed and denied begins to surface. The healing starts, but first comes the chaos.

Women of Spirit are not afraid of chaos, because they know that all New Light is born from it.

They are not afraid of intense emotions. They are not afraid of the ego’s reactions to being threatened by Divine Love.

Women who are in their Wholeness are a threat to the Old Order.

Women who love themselves, their bodies, their hearts, their intuitive senses, their psychic gifts, their ability to love without manipulation or fear – these women are dangerous to the status quo.

These women have energy to change the earth, bring Her back to balance, bring Her back to Love.

Because they are not wasting time or energy hating themselves. They are not wasting time worrying about what others think of their brazen confidence, their unapologetic, raw creative and sexual power, their mesmerising intelligence, and ability to rule the world.

These women do not have to apologise for existing.

They do not have to make themselves quieter, smaller, more ‘appropriate’, less visible or diminished.

They are sent to Earth to love with a fierce quality of compassion and wild, sacred intensity that has no roots in the ego.

This kind of Healing Love can only ever emanate from the Spirit.

These are brave, wise, visionary, patient, persevering, devoted and relentless females.

They will keep going until their last human breath on the earth plane.

They will not stop.

These are Women who Live to carry out tasks of great global and universal importance. Don’t underestimate the nature of these Holy Tasks. There are many who live here who want to bring them down; who can’t handle their ability to reveal Truth; who wither in the face of such unbridled self-love.

Who the hell do these women think they are?

Who do they think they are, to go around believing in themselves, loving themselves, admiring themselves, using their talents, expounding their ideas, opinions and wisdom, spreading their goddamn-blinding-Light?

Women who don’t need approval from men to feel they are valid. Women who don’t need to be kept by a man to feel they are safe. Women who don’t need to be in a relationship just to feel worthy.

These are women who really, truly love men.

These are the women that hold the Real Keys to the spiritual progression of the Masculine.

They are the Ones who will love men from a place of re-discovered Wholeness and Empowered Essence.

This is what Men really want, and need, in order to be free, divinely-motivated, built-up, charged and ready for the New Era.

These Women of Spirit NEED men, and adore men. But they are programmed to CHALLENGE men at their very existential core.

In order for these Women to be ravished, taken, blown-open to God and taken into worshipful ecstasy by Men, they need first to have challenged them, pushed them, confronted them and ignited their Spirits.

These Women have a Contract to show the men who are ready for them Who They Really Are.

And this only happens if women make waves, make noise, challenge untruth, unashamedly reveal and display their power, and look unwaveringly into the eyes of any who would seek to diminish them.

If you know a woman like this, you will already have felt the vibrations of her.

If you are this woman, don’t give up.

If you want to be this woman, you have full Divine permission.

Go, and rock the world on it’s axis.

You were never, ever born to be forgotten. You will always, eternally, be remembered.”

Copyright 2016 Sophie Bashford

Visit her website and Facebook page for further information if you feel the call to go deeper into your soul.

Photo credit: @suitcasecally I took this photo in my old home town near the clinic I used to work at in Cape Town. If you’re ever heading out from Misty Cliffs and Scarborough area be sure to visit the open African Art studio nestled under the trees next door to Gina’s African Art Shop on the M65 Redhill Road